Hi there, been a bit since I did my last post. Thanks for the replies on that, they did help. <P>I got a new attorney, am getting rid of the collaborative process and going for litigation. I found the collaborative process wasn't doing me any good at all, and STBX used it for his own purposes and I would have spent more money before anything was even agreed on at all. His first agreement basically was setting me up to lose everything that meant anything to me (beyond losing my H and supposed best friend). <P>I tried to set up an appointment with a new counselor, but never could get through (fortunately my "crazy time" worked itself out on its own). So basically, since the 5th when I posted last, I've been bouncing on pure adrenaline and nerves back to sleeping and eating on a regular schedule. <P>I was OK basically, but STBX likes to go hang out across the street, the latest was for 8 hours on Christmas Day and he wouldn't even bother to walk across the street and wish his kids a Merry Christmas. <P>It is going to get ugly, I think. He threatened me last night, he's very angry that I stood up for my rights and am going to try and protect my kids and myself. I'm not just rolling over and giving up.<P>At least the rollercoaster of emotions may end. His being "nice" is over and so I will no longer have false hope. I realize he is not mentally stable at the moment, even his mother (who he disowned also several months ago) thinks he is close to cracking up totally. That does make it hard for me in the fact that I still think the divorce was a mistake, but I also know that self preservation and teh protection of my kids won out and we have to get this over with.<P>Not saying I am not shaky, and walking a tight line on my own emotional well being, but I am doing OK.
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Now that things have slowed a bit with catching up on work, I'll try getting in touch with the counselor again. <P>I thought about you all over the past few weeks, was thinking good thoughts for everyone over the holidays. May 2001 treat us all well!<P>Lori
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