The end is near...<BR>...a new beginning is upon me. (no sad icon for a success story)<P>Yesterday my W signed the last of the Property Settlement Agreement papers (see <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum37/HTML/006852.html" TARGET=_blank>I don't understand my W</A>).<P>Now all that is left is my signature, and a court appearance in January/February.<BR>Even without my signature... it can't be stopped.<P>I've been preparing myself for this for quite some time...<BR>...so I am not distraught...<BR>...just a bit disappointed that she just doesn't get it... she's a lost sheep.<P>I'll be quite busy with a new job (Start 1/1/2001)... so that will help.<P>I'm always busy with the 3 kids... <P>And... <B>you bet I'll stay around here</B>... a while longer...<BR>...there's always newbies (sadly)... to help...<BR>...and I promised a post or two on movement to Plan B... and if providence says so... an annulment.<P>Do keep up support for <B>OneGoing</B> in the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/forumdisplay.cgi?action=topics&number=29&DaysPrune=10&LastLogin=" TARGET=_blank>Just found out...</A> forum...<BR>...it's a lot of work to keep up some of those posts. (see <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum34/HTML/001778.html" TARGET=_blank>Not to worry...</A>)<P>Prayers to all of you.<P> <P>Jim/NSR<P>--------------------------------------------------<BR>For those who want to know... <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>my story</A> and <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>background facts</A><p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 30, 2000).]

Jim,<P>Like you said...<P>You have done all <B>you</B> can...<P>Sometimes ours is not to reason why...<P>My D should be final in a few more weeks...<P>I concider myself a success as are you...<P>We know not what the future holds, but we rest in peace knowing <B>WHO</B> holds the future...<P>Bill<P>------------------<BR><P>May the roads rise to meet you,<BR>May the winds always be at your back,<BR>May the sun shine warm upon your face,<BR>The rains fall soft upon your fields,<BR>And until we meet again,<BR>May god hold you<BR>In the hollow of his hand.

Jim and Bill,<P>My prayers go out to you both. (as well as your children).<P>I know you will both find the peace and joy in the future that you so deserve.<P>God Bless<P>------------------<BR>Love and Prayers<BR>Nicole

There is a lot of peace to be found in having it all finished. You have already dealt with so much sadness and heartbreak. Now it is time to move on to healing, closure, peace - and YES to joy and self-love. <P>I found that the whole d experience left me pretty beaten up in some ways. But, when I looked at what I had dealt with and how I handled it all, and all the lies he had told me, I saw myself as so much more wonderful than I had come to believe.<P>I call myself Cinderella for those reasons.<P>Yes, having it finalized is a sad occaision. But having it finalized is a joyous occaision - even for those of us who do not believe divorce is an ok thing.<P>Jim, I know Bill is coming to Nashville. Why don't you come too? Maybe you can celebrate your new life with us.

Bill, Nicole and Cinderalla,<P>Thanks for your kinds words...<P>Unfortunately...<BR>...being out of work for 7 1/2 months...<BR>...and over $25,000 in lawyers fees....<BR>......(under W's pretense of a child custody dispute)...<BR>...has left me with a huge financial debt.<P>I'm starting that new job on Jan 1...<BR>...and have committed the 4 Saturdays in January to work...<BR>...or my debts will never get paid off.<P>I do thank you for your "Nashville" invite though...<BR>...I wish everyone a great time!<P> <P>Jim

Hi Jim,<P>I'm so sorry about all this.<BR>But as Cinderella said, it is closure, and it starts the time of healing for you. like you, I never wanted my divorce. Still can't believe that it has happened actually. But there is a sense of peace about me. He took the decision out of my hands, he didn't want to be married any longer (although sometimes I do wonder.....)<P>For my own sanity, I had to do something. He was/is very mixed up (I'm going to post about what happend Xmas Eve/Xmas Day) and he was making me that way too. He would tell me one thing, and then do the complete opposite.<BR>I found myself living day to day, waiting for his calls, which then dictated how I lived my day. Not a very healthy way to be.<P>The d has changed that. Made me realise that my reality is that he doesn't want to be married to me any more. And with that comes some decision making. Decisions about me and the girls. About my life. About my hopes, goals and dreams for the future. Yes, a future without him, but that was his choice.<BR>This is my time. And I'm going to make the best of it. After your d, it will be your time, and you will make the best of it too.<P>Yes, it's the saddest, most painful thing I have ever gone through. But now, it's like I've been given a clean slate. Whatever I did wrong in my marriage, whatever mistakes I made, I now have a chance not to do it again. I have the chance to put into practice all that I have learned here, and I have the chance to be a new me. A wiser, more comfortable with 'self' me.<P>I still have the rollercoaster ride to go through, I know that. I experience it every day. But, believe me, with acceptance comes a funny sort of freedom. You are now free to be the man that we all know you are. You are free to be the Dad that you know you are. You are also free, like me and everyone else who is d'd, to show someone new all the benefits of what we have been through.<P>When I meet this 'new' man, I look forward to showing and sharing with him all that I have learnt from what I have gone through. This pain has to have an upside right????????<P>You are never far from my thoughts or prayers, even when I'm just lurking. I wish you could make it to Nashville. You give so much here it would be good for us to meet you. That sounds as if I'm going to Nashville, I'm not unfortunately, however, I'm thinking on behalf of everyone else!!!!!<P>Take care of you, and know that this is your time. There's a song called "Shine" by Vanessa Amarossi, an Australian singer. I've sort of made it my song. If you like, I'll send you the CD single. My email is <BR>romsey@one.net.au. Let me know.<P>love and hugs to you Jim, you will get through this, and you will Shine.<P>Jo<BR>

Jo...<P>I remember the day you joined us here...<BR>...it was for you... the saddest day of your life.<P>...and look at you now...<P>...a <B>life</B> success story...<P>...a beauty woman with the prettiest girls alive...<P>...you <B>do</B> have much to look forward to...<P>...as do I.<P>Following the MB principles... has gotten us through the hardest times...<BR>...and now the good things in life will be ours.<P>Your friend (in a cold wintery blizzard)...<BR>...so much love and respect for a special lady.<P>Jim

Jim,<P>I just want to say that you have been a tremendous help to me and us all. Good Luck on your new job. Continue to keep God first and being the wonderful father and man that you are. I know you are disappointed, its only natural for you to feel that way. You should be proud. When the going got tough, you got tougher. And look how strong you are. You have a lot to be thankful for. Count your blessings & take everything one day at a time. <P><P>------------------<BR><B>God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change...Courage to change the things I can...And the wisdom to know the difference.</B><P>lady_divine77@yahoo.com

Jim,<P>Congratulations on your new job! I'm very happy that you are so at peace with the outcome, I was worried about how you'd feel when we came to this day. Maybe it have been postponed so long was a blessing in disguise for you.<P>I am considering an annulment too. I'm not sure how, or exactly why just yet, but its a thought at this point.<P>You do a great job at welcoming newbies. I try to say hi to a few when ever I can find some time. I'd be glad to help out but I have no clue how to put all those links in that you do. <P>Feel free to send me instructions via email and I'll help with giving them some links.<P>Good luck . Its a New Year. A time for new beginnings for many of us and a new chance at a better life.<P>Don't be a stranger around here!<BR>Dana<BR>missdmbrown@aol.com <BR>(that is the correct email address from now on)