Well I survived what would have been my 17th wedding anniversary. I worked a double shift so I was to busy to mourn I guess. <P>I am a little irritated because I just found out X and OW are spending the weekend in a quaint little cabin on a lake. We went on one vacation in 161/2 years together alone. <P>He stopped over yesterday with his dog so my son could watch it. I just look at him and shake my head. I think I am falling more and more out of love with him every day and thats good. Now that my pain and fog has started to lift I realize just how cruddy he could be to me sometimes. For awhile I would only think about the good times now I see the whole picture and it is not something I ever want in my life again. <P>I guess I am a little bitter today but maybe I have a right to be. <P>I find myself thinking about finding someone else now. I'm not ready yet but I'm getting there. I no longer dream about H and have actually have had a few dreams about finding someone new. <P>I wish him well and hope he will be happy with her butr frankly I don't see it at all. They both screwed up way to many lives in the past 6 months for them to ever be happy without feeling guilt the rest of their lives.<P>Have a Happy New Year!<P>Jill<BR>(formerly crazy or what?) <P>------------------<BR>live for today for there may not be a tomorrow

You go, girl.<P>Proud of you. You're going to be fine. <P>My d was final 2 yrs and 9 days ago. And every now and then, I still get mad about it.<BR>Probably always will. But, I'm a far better and happier person than I used to be.<P>Hopefully, one of these days, the children will think he's the schmuck I know he is.