The kids stayed at their mothers last night(they were supposed to come home after being there for 2.5 days) but didn't because d wasn't feeling well and didn't feel like moving around and son was having x's neighbor son sleep over. X was working today 7a to 7p and said I could come and get the kids when I wanted too. Om/h would be home today. So I said okay.<P>So I called the kids this morning around 10:30. My d answered and she said they weren't ready to come home . I was shocked. Their mother wasn't there and they wanted to stay. I was more than shocked, I was crushed.<P>D explained that they were waiting for the a guy to come install the line for the intenet, he was supposed to come between 10 and 12. The x bought a computer for the kids for Christmas. About 12 the d called and said to come and get them as the installer didn't come. To add to the hurt, as I was picking them up my d said, wait I have to go tell Mike(om/h/stepfather(eech) goodbye.<P>I understand they stayed more because they were waiting to play with the computer, but it still hurt. I cleaned the heck out of my bathrooms though! <P>I guess I should be happy that they can feel comfortable around om/h/sf, but it sure doesn't feel all that good to me. <P>

Bummer City!!<P>You're right, it was about the computer. I'm glad you see that.<P>A few months ago, my d told me that the next time her Girl Scout troop has a mother/daughter thing, she wants x's new wife to go. She was not the ow in any of his ea-s. I understand her point of view. But it hurt. My reaction was, "We'll see."<P>Funny thing is, I like the new wife much more than I like x. <BR>

Oh, that must hurt. But, I agree it sounds like they were excited about the computer. It probably is good that they like him. But, it is a double edged sword, isn't it?<P>I hate it when I hear my little girl talk about my x's girlfriends. It always bothers me. I can't wait till that feeling goes away. <P>He doesn't seem to care a bit about my dating. Although, I'm no longer dating as I want to figure out what all this alone time is about and reap the benefits so I can have a healthier relationship next time. <P>Anyway, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. <P>Jen

Bob,<P>It hurts like crazy, but the most important thing is that the children are comfortable and accept this, so they can grow up to be healthy.<P>In a way, sure it'd feel better if our kids held our ex's accountable, by hating what broke their family up.<P>But kids can teach us a lot about bouncing back, accepting change and dealing with it, because thats just how life is, nothing is guaranteed, and nothing will stay the same forever.<P>I would say it was for the computer, and not lack of wanting to see you.<P>But I am sorry you were hurt.<BR>Dana<BR>

Oh boy, I think a lot of us have been there...done that. I think you'll find how ig goes in spurts different directions. A few years ago my son (when he was 9) didn't really want to go to his dad's for more then a day or wo, didn't really like the girlfriend. My daughter was 5. Play with her a few minutes and your her new best friend. So, she'd come back and talk about the girlfriend. If ex called to talk to the kids they'd talk to her on the phone too. Now, daughter shows little interest in the girlfriend (she's a mommy's girl), and son is to involved with his dad to notice the girlfriend much. The truth of the matter is, no matter what nobody can replace mom or dad and this Mike guy can't in your kids life either. In fact, my kids have a fantastic relationship with their step dad (my husband) who they live with full-time. Also, my ex stopped seeing his kids for a couple of years so the bond between my kids and their step dad only grew. It's the step dad that does the one-on-one with them, drives them to their events and helps with their home work. You know what? They still love their daddy just as much as always. Nobody can replace you and your kids wouldn't let that happen. Your a good man, a good dad and don't ever feel like somebody is superior to you for that role.