Gotta sell the house - putting it on the market March 1st. In going through the rooms and deep cleaning, tossing old stuff, etc. I keep coming across photo albums, or the pamphlet from that hotel we were going to stay at, the plans for the addition on the house that we never will do now...<P>He tossed this whole life...my future life...away. And I have no say in stopping it. He's cheated on me, has a girlfriend now, continued to lie to me, our divorce is 6 weeks from being final and yet I still long for what might have been, for the life I've lost. I miss him, us, my marriage, my friend.<P>How do I move on? This just keeps eating at me?<P>------------------<BR>---------<BR>To err is human, to forgive divine.

Is there something wrong with planting the sign out front now? Your agent can let prospective buyers and agents know if the closing date must be later in the year; I see no reason to lose 60 days of marketing time if you've made up your mind to sell the house. In general, the longer a marketing time you're willing to tolerate, the more likely you are to get good money.<P>And yeah, sometimes it stinks to find reminders like that. Other times the memories are comforting. <BR>While OTOH there is some feeling that a house does best when it's well-priced and fresh on the market, you need to decide whether that approach is for you.

We were mid-remodel when my marriage blew up in my face...March 1st is the date we agreed to have all the final stuff done and be ready to sell.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by soon2b_alone:<BR><B>We were mid-remodel when my marriage blew up in my face...March 1st is the date we agreed to have all the final stuff done and be ready to sell.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I think a prospective buyer might be happier signing a contract now and having some influence over the final shape of the renovations ... only make sure to get a *big* deposit in case the deal falls apart after you've done a few idiosyncratic adjustments for the buyer.<P><BR>

S2BA,<P>i am taking all the pictures WE have and I will be scanning the keepers, the good ones, into the computer, and then creating an electronic picture album which I will burn onto a cd for each kid for their high school graduation. It will be an album of them from the beginning, and for them, an album of their original family. They will be able to print it, or show it, or play with it, etc.<BR>but they will always have their memories in picture format.<P>Now that I have a digital camera, i can skip the scanning phase.<P>just a though for you to consider. but if it is too painful right now, put them away in a safe place, do not lose them. I have very few pictures from my childhood, and only a few memories, and pictures like that would bring back alot more of them, and keep them fresh!<P>good luck,<P>tom<P>

Hi s2ba,<P>I too did that. In the end it became too painful for me, so I packaged them all up and stored them. One day, I'll be able to look back at things like that without wondering, or crying. But at the moment I can't.<P>I too mourn for what we could have had together. But now I focus on having that with someone who values marriage as I do. Someone who values me, as much as I will value him.<P>I'm trying really hard to focus on my future. A future that sees me finishing my degree, continuing with my fabulous job, building and reinforcing my relationship with my 2 precious babies, and being comfortable with me.<P>I posted to someone last night that I was using this year for me, my children, my family and my friends. Nothing more, nothing less. I've made a pact with myself that I'm having no "man clutter" this year. And I find myself excited about this year. I can be selfish where I am concerned. Do you know how long it's been since I could do that......???? Probably the same amount of time for you.....<P>I'll focus on me, my babies and the important stuff in my life. The people I value the most in my life. Everyone else will have to take a back seat.<P>Of course I don't mean you guys. You have all become almost family to me.<P>Could you focus on you this year????? Spend the year deciding what YOU want. I can't wait, I'm so excited.<P>big hugs to you my friend, and keep your chin up. Put those photos and memento's away until you can deal with them. It's the best thing I ever did. I no longer have to look at his face everytime I walk somewhere in my house and be reminded of what happened, and what went wrong. It's a postive step. Well, it was for me.<P>thinking of you<P>Jo