Well today I visted my atty. I have a plan that should defend me well. I don't know how but she must have sensed that she will lose. When I came home she had taken all the picture of our kids, all of hers and their clothes her bed and some misc items and was gone. I don't know where she is. I don't care. But I am greatly concerned for my kids she has really been not concerned for thier safety. Does anyone know if this will help me or hurt me with custody. I'm scared for my 4 year old . When I put him to bed last night he was crying and told me that he was scared of his mommy and daddy not living together anymore. Both of the boys are probably terrified. My heart goes out to them. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Get in touch with your attorney ASAP!<P>He'll ask you to contact the police...<BR>...and have them investigate the disappearance / child abduction.<P>No matter how unfortunate this is in the short run for your children...<BR>...it should help you in the long run to gain custody of your children.<P>You must show some concern immediately...<BR>...if you can't contact your lawyer...<BR>...file immediately whatever you can with your local police!<P>You and your entire family will be in my prayers tonight!<P> <P>Jim

Hi,<P>have you contacted her family to see if they know where she is.?<BR>That would be my first step.<BR>My second would be the police.<BR>This situation fills me with dread. Not only because of how you must feel, but because she is not thinking of the children.<P>Keep thinking about where she could have gone. And take steps now. Don't wait.<P>I can't answer as to whether this will help or hinder you. We have different laws over here. However, I do think the police would be sympathetic to you. She has taken the children from their home.<P>Please keep you chin up, I'm thinking of you<BR>and let me know<P>Jo

I have contacted the police but since I have not been awarded custody there is nothing I can do at this point. I have already contacted my atty. Was the first thing that I did. He feels that she got spooked and ran for fear of losing the kids. She found out that I was meeting with my atty this morning and I think that she is scared that she is in the wrong. And that she might not get custody of the kids. <P>I have not contacted her family. I believe that they will take her side and try to hide her from me. She has been lying like I have never seen people lie. She has literally told so many lies that she does not remember them all. I guess that is common for people in her shoes to do. I have contacted where she works and they are not talking either, which is why I believe that she is telling peopl that I am the one to fear. I am frightened for my kids. Any body seen it turn around once you have gone this far? Or is the downhill only getting steeper?

how awful for you, but you must keep a clear head.<BR>Is there a friend of her's that knows YOU well, someone who would see through all the lies. And be able to help you find her. <P>What steps does your atty say to take.?<P>There was someone here who posted about a year ago, that had about the same situation as you. Her H dragged her in and out of court, saying the most horrendous things, and turned everyone against her. I'll try and remember who it was, she might be able to help more than me.<P>Is there someone at the school where your children go that would be able to help you? Maybe a councillor or something. <P>God I hope this ends for you soon and she realises what she is doing to your children. <BR>Please keep posting to let me know.<BR>I'm about 14 hours in front of you, the time difference is a killer here sometimes. But know that I'm thinking of you, and praying for you and your children even if I don't get back to you for a while.<P>take care, and keep your head (easier said than done, I know)<P>Jo

This is serious! Make sure that you at least have phone contact with your little guys until your custody/visitation is drawn up--don't be lax about this, now!<P>I don't know--is there any type of authority, police, social workers, school counselors, anyone who can act as a mediator between the two of you until there are official papers drawn up giving custody? I am not smart on this kind of stuff. She can't be allowed to run away with your children again, especially with the types of people she is involved with right now.<P>I was going to share a story with you. . . but I have thought the better of it now, I don't want to scare you. . .but please, knowing what she has tried to do already, keep in mind that she is capable of doing it again. You have to get a third party of some sort involved to protect your children. You should be worried for them. They need to be in a safe environment until this all boils over and your wife is in her right mind.

I still have no idea where they are.I am not sure what to do. She hasn't called or let me know at all where she is. And everybody that knows her is not talking. So it would be hard to come to a compromise when I can't even talk to her.

Dear bonnet:<P>Your question: "Is there a friend of her's that knows YOU well, someone who would see through all the lies. And be able to help you find her." was excellent. <P>Also, the woman who used to post was I think MENTAL(Nancy). I have been looking to see if she has posted recently and nothing. I hope she is doing all right.<P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

She does not associate with any of our mutual friends. She has another life and I hardly know any of the people that she is with. My atty is trying to contact her atty to see what is going on. Still have had no contact with her or the kids.

<BR>WMFT,<P>Your lawyer is pussyfooting around. Have your lawyer file an emergency motion for temporary custody (my guess is that's exactly what HER lawyer is doing as you're reading this!!!). Whoever gets the first custody order wins, because these "temporary orders" become permanent most of the time. If you're successful, and your odds are pretty good because she left without warning, you can then report her for kidnapping.<P>Call your lawyer with instructions to file for a motion for temporary custody. Do it NOW.<P>Bystander

In the process right now! I trust my atty judgement. Her atty. is the one not to be trusted.

Here is the update. She has not broken any laws that canget the police involved yet. The motions for temporary custody have been filed. My wife has not contacted her atty except to say that she has moved out of the house and is living with a girlfriend. However, when we do go to court to determine the custody this will hurt her tremendously. And for those who have been following she had a brother that was living here with her while I was not. Well I found out tonight that he was arrested for obstructing official duty and minor in possesion. Which will also help my case. It shows the company that she is keeping. I still have not heard from my kids and the longer she goes without contacting me the greater the chance she will face child endangerment charges. I will get back when I know more.

this all sounds quite positive. At least your atty is doing something. Anything.<P>keep posting to let us know how you're doing.<P>I think Bellevue is right. It was Mental. I'll try and find anything from her that could be helpful to you.<P>Keep your chin up, and know that we're thinking of you, and praying for you and your little ones.<P>hugs to you<P>jo

<BR>WMFT,<P>Years ago the strategy of taking the kids and running paid dividends, but courts really frown on that stuff now. Congrats on your motion for custody being filed - just the timing of it now works in your favor. Keep us posted on when the custody hearing is set.<P>Bystander

We go to court a week from tomorrow. She finally called me today. She will not let me see or talk to the kids. She also will not take them to their babysitter because she is afraid that I will come and take them. She is letting one of her friends dads watch them when she needs a sitter. I feel terrible for what the kids are going through. I have spoken with my atty and there is nothing that we can do until we go to court. She has really damaged her case by running and by not letting me contact them and by taking them to a new sitter. I still haven't talked to them. And I really miss them.

I'm so glad you know they are safe... sort of!<P>Do get your attorney <B>EVERYTHING</B> possible to get you immediate custody!<P>Prayers... prayers... and more prayers...<P> <P>Jim

Hi there,<P>that's a relief. At least she called. At least you know they are safe. Now just hang on for the week. It will be the longest week of your life, but we're here for you. And we're by your side. Always remember that.<P>Do you know who the new babysitter is? I guess not, or you would have done something.<P>Try to keep yourself busy, and focus on having your babies back. focus focus focus. Build yourself up so you present well in court. You need to eat well, and TRY to get some sleep.<P>I'll be thinking of you, and praying for you.<BR>Take care<P>Jo

Do you have caller ID on your phone? If not, get it immediately. Then, write down the number on it if she calls again. You can do a reverse lookup on your computer and get an address where the call was made from and whose name is on the account. She may not actually call from the place where the kids are at the moment, but it could help you in your search for them. <P><P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bellevue:<BR><B>You can do a reverse lookup on your computer and get an address where the call was made from and whose name is on the account.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Reverse lookups (as well as lookups on just about anything) are available at <A HREF="http://www.theultimates.com." TARGET=_blank>www.theultimates.com.</A> <P>

My atty made a deal with her atty to have her let me see the kids tomorrow. If she doesn't that will really hurt her. She hinted at who the babysitter was. It looks like it is OM father. But I am not for sure.I do have called I.D. but she can dial *67 and have the number come up private and that is what she is doing. Her case is getting weaker and mine is getting stronger, but the law still favors her. That means that our legal system really stinks. I know I can provide for and protect them better than she can.