My husband of 11 years and I are back to a good relationship after I almost left him six months ago due to a host of issues related to his depression and obsessive-compulsive disorder. Life is so much better now, he is getting treatment, and we are happy to be together. We have a 2 year old who is happy too.<br>We haven't had much of a sex life for years. He has been treated for impotence, and was given Viagra a few months ago after nothing else was effective. Part of the problem is related to his medication, but not all of it.<br>The thing is, we haven't even tried the Viagra yet! I don't like to bring it up too often, because he feels bad about having had so much trouble and feels anxious about what will happen.<br>He has plenty of interest in sex, and can spend hours on the internet with pornography. <br>I can live without sex if we have other kinds of intimacy. For me, though, sex is a great way to keep a marriage close and satisfying. I don't want us to give up on it. I think if he would restrict his use of porn, it might help, but I don't know if he is willing/able to do that.<br>We had 9 months of sex therapy a couple years ago. It didn't help much. We stopped because our marriage was in trouble and we were going to a counselor for that. My present counselor thinks it would be better for us to try the Viagra rather than have more sex therapy. He says trying to treat sexual dysfunction is a long and involved process, and the Viagra might address the problem just fine.<br>Any suggestions?<br>Please reply only on the forum, and not by email, for privacy reasons. Thanks.

<BR>[This message has been edited by slowlerner (edited 01-07-99).]<p>[This message has been edited by slowlerner (edited February 16, 2000).]

jm,<p>sounds like he has a real problem with the feelings associated with impotence. Does he attend the present counseling sessions? If you're working on the relationship now that the medical problems have been addressed, the communication has to flow & both of you need to recognize each others needs.<p> If he is ready to work on the relationship, what better way than to approach this topic with a counselor present. (Maybe the counselor could bring it up so that you aren't the bad guy?)<p>While slowlerner has some valid opinions regarding porn addition, your H may just have some severe hangups about not being able to please you & failing at sex, not necessarily an addiction problem. <br>Obviously, there is no pressure to perform using the net porn.<p>Good luck !<br>nick