Thank you so much everyone for your replies.<P>I got a GREAT night's sleep last night. Switched the 'puter off, and fell into bed. I slept for 11 hours straight, and I don't think I moved at all in the bed.<P>Today is another day, and when I read all your replies, I thought to myself, yep, it's not me. I know I haven't been hassling him. Gosh, so WHO could it be ................<P>Dana - thanks for reminding me I have needs too. I think sometimes I forget that, but this year I have decided to devote some time to me and my needs. Sounds so selfish (when your a mummy, a daughter, an employee, a student etc ) but I can't wait. I also can't wait to find out *WHO* is hassling him. Oh the suspense............<P>Sisyphus - you so often say what I'm thinking. I don't think we've ever directly communicated before but reading your responses to others, you so often say exactly what I am thinking. Thank you for being there for me. I'm going to be patient (not one of my virtues but I'm working on it) and wait for the right time to create another opportunity. And to do what you suggested, try and get him to confide in me. That will be a *hardie* but I'll wait. Thank you.<P>hurtinginOmaha - Thanks for the prayers. I need all I can get. It helps me to hear others say that it is all inside him, and that it's not me. I KNOW that I don't hassle him. Have a lovely day.<P>sue - I have to own up here. As usual, I do and continue to do everything back to front. We are actually divorced. It went through Dec 5th 2000. I wasn't strong enough to do Plan A while we were separated, although I gave it many a go. I just didn't do it effectively, I was too up and down, I was too angry, sad, and distressed to be able to do it in any way the way it needed to be done. It was almost as if I didn't want that marriage, but I wanted a new one. Divorce was complete closure for me where that marriage was concerned. So I'm trying Plan A now. Who knows where this will all end up.<BR>But thanks for being there for me.<P>looking ahead - thanks. You're right too. I do have needs. and I am going to start concentrating on me.<P>Jayhawk93 - thank you. You have been there for me quite a lot. I appreciate it so much. I agree, the new year has to be better for us all. I think it will be, if only because of what we have learnt, and how we have grown. Last night's sleep was amazing, no bad dreams, no getting up to go to the loo, no phone calls, I could sleep. I know what you mean about feeling things more acutely when you have sleep deprivation. My job means I have it quite often, but you do adjust, as long as I eat well and sleep when i can. Big big hugs to you my friend.<P>c00ker - thank you so much for caring about me. I am starting to see that his comment really wasn't directed at me. It just couldn't have been. I will never stop calling my children when he has them. I generally only call once a day when he has them, either to say goodmorning or good night. (It varies depending on what I am working that day.) That surely is not too much. I don't even think he thinks so.<P>WilliamJ - as usual you are there for me. Thank you so much, I love you too. You're right, he is a *sodding doofus* ..... I love it........<BR>I'll try and get a book on the Aussie vernacular and send some little gems your way. I'm hanging in there - more by my whole arm rather than my fingernails today. I feel so much better than I did last night. Take care of you too my friend

Hey girl,<P>Glad to hear you are feeling better! I just signed on real quick to see if you had replied. Its been a LONG LONG week. Doesn't help that I stayed up til 5am on New Years, but hey, I HAVE REASON TO CELEBRATE!!!!!!! <P>You hang in there, be strong and stay happy!<BR>Hugs,Dana<BR>

Hello Jo!<BR>I just wanted to say hello. I haven't been to this site in forever, just dropped in to see what was happening and how things are going. Looks like not too good for a bunch of US. Write if you ever have a few minutes.<P>------------------<BR>God Bless you and yours,<P>Sheryl W.<P>www.widesmiles.org/gallery/britanie<BR>

Jo,<P>Can you forgive me for not replying sooner???<P>This thread just slipped past my radar...I'm sorry.<P>How have you been feeling since this was posted? Or did I miss another of your threads?<P>GADS!! I feel like a #1 heel...<P>Take good care! <P>Bill

Dear Jo,<P>Thanks for the clarification..I too had real porblems with Plan A when married. I<BR>just felt so much hurt and pain over it all.And, during the tries to reconcile, my X continued with the OW and lied to me about it. <BR>It was so tough, because I was in contact with the OW's husband. He had called me to let me know it was still going on. He had bugged their phone and then let me hear phone calls between them. So I had to try to PLan A, hearing these conversations where I was not in the picture!! <BR>So, my Plan A was not the best it could have been either. <BR>Now that it is all over, I look back and realize I did the best I could. <BR>Now, perhaps you can Plan A with the intent of keeping communication open, of being the best you can be, and in the long run, you never know what wil happen!!<P>------------------<BR>Susan