Hey All,<P>Well I knew this would happen sooner or later but I guess it still throws me.<P>My XH told the kids last night that he is marrying OW on Feb2. I hope he is happy and knows what he is doing but I don't think he is or does. It was only 3 weeks ago on the phone he was crying to me about how much he missed me. He said he wanted our life back blah, blah blah. Now here he is getting married. <P>Honestly, I am ok with it. I almost feel free. He is a man with alot of problems to work out and well after all he has done to me the past years I'm just glad I no longer have to deal with them. <P>I have had time now to look at the whole picture of the last 17 years and I have come to the conclusion that actually he made my life miserable and I just lived with it. <P>So now let her deal with his depression, his overspending, his insecurities his sometimes violent temper, his selfishness. <P>When we first were split and even up to the divorce date all I could think of was how much I missed the things he did that I liked. Now I can think of both the likes and dislikes and I think there were way more dislikes. <P>Maybe I'm a little more negative about him today then usual but actually maybe I'm being honest about how I feel about him for the first time in 17 years.<P>I know this is a marriage builders web site. I maybe didn't save my marriage but I now have the tools thanks to all of you to work on a new relationship when I'm ready for one. <P>Jill<P>(formerly crazy or what? )<P>------------------<BR>live for today for there may not be a tomorrow

wow<P>I think i'll be hurt when i see my ex to remarry.<BR>I don't have any desire to goto the alter(i didn't want to in the first place!)<BR>I guess as the day approaches you'll experience alto of different emotions(?)<P>Are your children standing?...attending?

I wish my ex would remarry.<P>Oddly enough it would give me closure.<BR>With all his standards and put downs maybe he would finally leave me alone.<P>I get tired of all his i care/love speeches.<BR>

My ex is marrying his OW on 1/27. I know how you feel Jill, my ex sounds very similar to yours except that mine is extremely arrogant and considers himself superior to pretty much everyone else in the world. His OW is not as intellectual as I was so therefore he will not be "threatened" by her like he was by me. Our divorce was final 12/21 and I am trying very hard to focus on the "now" and what I want for myself. <BR>My 11 yo D will be in their wedding - she doesn't seem to mind. I know that eventually he will not be so charming and fun for her - he wasn't for me - he started changing on our honeymoon - became critical of me.<BR>If you want to e-mail me we can compare emotinal notes about how we are doing with our ex's re-marriage.<P>patalp@hotmail.com

that's pretty quick, isn't it?<P>Wow, I'm just amazed and don't know what to say..<P>But you are right about him having many problems(my H too), and he hasn't dealt with them so well this marriage won't have bright future for sure.<P>I'm glad to hear you are ok about it.. <BR>How about your kids? How are they taking this news? I wonder if this will build a wall between your kids and x.<BR>I wonder why in the hell they have to hurty up getting married.. they really need to work out things if they want to have a successful merriage...like I care? <P>It's good you are finding out about your feeling towards him. that will help you heal faster.<P>Meg<BR><p>[This message has been edited by MF (edited January 06, 2001).]

Thanks for all of your reponses!!! <BR>My kids and I have talked alot about this. They are ok with it. Maybe they have a better understanding about our marriage then we did. They tell me that even though they love their Dad he wasn't a very easy person to live with and are much happier with him gone. That is sad isn't it. I was gone so much (I worked the evening shift for many years) that maybe I really missed what was actually going on in my own house. Not that my X was ever abusive to the kids but I think the last few years he has been reclusive and treated the kids like they were a bother to him. He is now trying to make it up to them by taking them out to eat having long talks with them ect. They like it but they can see right through it and that is also very sad. <BR>As for me I didn't even shed a tear about it. I'm actually glad it is happening like rtn2 says it will give me closure. <BR>Every instinct I have says he is making another mistake. He is so impulsive! Well I guess it will be his mistake now won't it. <BR>I sent them a engagement card and told them I was happy for them. Not that it is entirely true but no sense making a big deal out of it. I want to keep things as friendly as I can for the kids sake. <P>Jill<P>------------------<BR>live for today for there may not be a tomorrow