Today I opened my mail and received a letter from my attorney that he has asked the court to schedule a hearing date for the divorce.<P>I called H and asked if he had received anything....His reply no.... I said did you ever call your attorney or mine to put the divorce back on hold....(Which is what he said he wanted before New Years) <P>He said NO I lost your attorney's phone number and don't have it...<P>I gave it to him...and I asked him some questions and he said I know you want answers and I just don't have any....<P>Well I said goodbye and afterwards realized Hey he's not brain dead anyone can call 411 and get the number...<P>He doesn't want the divorce off hold ...<P>So I LB big time in an e-mail and said ...You dangled that carrot again and I reached for it....<BR>I called him back to talk to him and of course there was only his machine...Tactic of his when HE doesn't want to talk to me he doesn't answer his phone...yet he feels he can call me anytime when he wants to chat as long as it's not about trying to work out getting back together...(((CONFLICT AVOIDER BIG TIME)...<BR>So I called him one more still no answer and then blocked my number so he can't call me anymore....I will unblock on the days he is suppose to call our son...but other than that...I don't want to talk to him anymore....<BR>UNLESS HE FOLLOWS THRU AND PUTS the Divorce back on hold....<P>FYI I started by antidepressants again to help me cope with the stress...I had been off them for almost a month UNTIL he called me & said "I want to come home" <P>Any thoughts? I want off this damn roller coaster for good....<P>Tyra

.<p>[This message has been edited by Trying to move on (edited March 26, 2001).]

(((((((((TYRA))))))))))<P>I'm so sorry for you. I have been there. I was hoping you would have had the better outcome than I did. Especially because I know how much you would like to save the marriage.<P>I think the anti-depressants are a great start! I couldn't afford them because my ex cancelled my insurance, illegally, and by the time we fought about it, the divorce was final. This will help you clear your head and see things more clearly AND possibly help you from getting too far down. THat is what you need , plus lots of support from your friends.<P>As far as the ex, I would say that actions speak louder than words, in time, you will develop your own rules for his return. Mine were, that he stop seeing OW for good. Live on his own for a few months and see no one, then start counseling and dating again. That would have taken about 6 months minimum and my reasoning would be he could go thru withdrawal without dragging me along for that ride too.<P>As you are stronger and time goes on, you will find your way. It's ok to be sad and its ok to cry.<P>Have you read the book "rebuilding when the relationship ends", yet? That book was like a bible to me when I was going thru the worst of it. Let me know if it helps.<P>Hugs, Dana<BR>