We had a fairytale marriage for the first 11 years of our relationship. He has 2 children from his first marriage. Then the youngest one who is 20 years old decided she wanted her daddy back with her mommy (I guess) and is doing everything she can to break us up. As a result, hubby is lying to me all the time, doing things behind my back and telling her to make sure she doesn't blow his cover. What really gets me, is he doesn't need to lie about the things he does! Like giving her money, extra money; he won't tell me when he does that, he does it secretly. When I work and she comes over, he tries to make sure I don't find out about it. He has turned everyone in his family against me by badmouthing me to them (his kids, ex-wife, sister), but he is sweet and nice to me to my face. Now I cannot face his family, knowing that they think these awful things about me that are not true. He discusses our sex life freely with his sister, which has turned me off sex completely with my husband. Not only does he discuss our sex life, but he makes me out to be a prude instead of the truth of how great our sex life was before he started deceiving me and lying to me and sneaking around behind my back. But yet after several times of me telling him I want a divorce, because that is some STRANGE kind of love he has for me, he begs me for forgiveness and that he will never lie again. But I catch him over and over and over in lies. Now I even believe he either has or is cheating on me. I tried to call his bluff and acted like I knew he was cheating on me. At first he was fidgety and nervous, then when he found out I didn't have any proof (he actually asked me if I had any proof), then he vehemently denied it to the end and got very mad at me and told me he was innocent. I have lost complete trust in him. I don't see how I can get that back, and how can I stay in a marriage when I suspect everything he says and does? But yet, it seems like he still loves me with all his heart (to my face) and I know he is the love of my life; my first and only true love so it's hard to divorce him when he fights me to keep from divorcing him!! I've been in this hell for 3 years now and I'm really torn on what to do since we still love each other, but he can't quit lying and his family knows not to say this or that around me. I cringe when I have to face his family because of all this. To remain married to him, means facing his family all the time and knowing that he will lie to me over and over about the most stupid things and of course the possibility that he is cheating on me, since he doesn't want sex with me anymore than I want sex with him anymore. Is there any chance at all of repairing this marriage??? I dont' know what to do!!

A marriage based on lies and dishonesty is no marriage. If he loved and respected you he wouldn't lie to you. But what would you do if he told you the truth? Read this web-site it has alot of ways to improve any marriage but it takes both spouses to make it work. Not at first but eventually he has to want to change his love busters as well as you do. It is hard, hard, hard work but worth it. The lies have to stop though. My wife is the same way. She lies about everything that my cause me to be upset with her so the trust is not there either but We are wroking on it. There is hope!

Hi there. Well last night we got into yet another fight and he gathered up all his belongings to go and spend the rest of the evening in the bedroom away from me. Which is the way it has been a LOT lately; spending time in separate rooms. Well, I decided I had enough of this and gave him my letter I wrote on the fifth of January telling him we need at least a separation, because living like this is not healthy for either one of us. He has me, a suspicious, b*tchy wife questioning his every move, with good reason since I've caught him so many times lying to me. When I catch him lying, he gets on the defensive and gets all mad and we spend the rest of the day in separate rooms. NO MORE! After he read the letter, he tried once again for the umpteenth time he is sorry, he will change, wait and see, and I told him he has told me that same song and dance each and every time so no, this time is it. This is NOT a marriage and I want no part of it anymore. Today we are being polite with each other, just like all the other days of our marriage for the past year or two; just politeness when we get along and a lot of yelling and screaming and separating into separate rooms when we fight. Like I said in the letter, it is not healthy for either one of us to keep on going that way; I know he wants to change but I haven't seen that yet so it's time to call it quits; I cannot go on like this anymore even though I do still love him with all my heart, and he claims to love me with all his heart. It's over...

one ?. How can he change if he doesn't know how. Give him the book "his needs, Her needs and "give and Take". Have him read this website. With information change occurrs for both of you.

Rose,<p>You lied to him when you acted like you had proof of an affair. Keep that in mind when being overzealous with your obsession that he has cheated. We on this board see many stories and there is always two sides. Please do not try to convince that the only issue is the fact that your husband lies. We've just established that you do too. He may have lied to avoid confrontation, you lied to deliberately deceive. Keep it in mind

Rose,<p>I think that you need to take the time to go over this website thoroughly. Order Give and Take as well.<p>You're using Lovebusters right and left. Angry outbursts, disrespectful judgements, selfish demands, dishonesty. So is your husband.<p>A separation is not going to help much at this point. You both need to realize your failures to protect one another, and sit down together to do something about it constructively. Learn to use the 'Policy of Joint Agreement' to come up with plans to eliminate these lovebusters. I'd suggest counseling too; at this point you could probably use the guidance.

1. Noone has a fairytale marriage.<p>You need to get to a counselor before you end the relationship with the love of your life. A lot of people believe their H to have affairs and it is proven to be false. His lies have to stop. It sounds like he loves you, but there are a lot of things that need work in the relationship (respect, communication, sex)and you guys are unable to get past that. A good therapists could help you to understand each other and communicate better. Don't give up without first trying counseling for a while. You are frustrated after 3 years of lies, you cannot fix the marriage yourself. For three years that is what you have been trying to do.<p>Now, can you handle the truth? Is there a reason he has to keep things a secret? Maybe you do not approve of the time he spends with his daughter? There is probably a reason for his lies. If there is an affair. Are you ready to accept that and take steps to save your marriage. If this is the love of your life get some help. Lies and affairs are good reasons for divorce (in my opinion) but divorce is not an easy answer. It is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You guys need some communication skills. I bet you two could be helped through this. Ask yourself, will divorce make you happier? How will it make you happier? Don't you prefer to have an honest and loving relationship with the love of your life?<p>Good Luck<p>