Can anyone that has been through something like this tell me what being in the fog means. I think my husband is but he says he isnt seeing anyone, but doestnt want me either. He doesnt want to work out anything because he says there is nothing to work on. He says he doesnt love me anymore and is only with me for our four month baby. He says he doesnt think about me all day. He says he hates his life and has no friends. I dont know but I would like to get some answers. Do you guys have any comments on the fog symptoms and what they mean?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by aamymail:<BR><B>He says he doesnt love me anymore and is only with me for our four month baby. He says he doesnt think about me all day. He says he hates his life and has no friends. I dont know but I would like to get some answers. Do you guys have any comments on the fog symptoms and what they mean?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>You *both* have fog, or things should never have reached this point. He's still at home. You are so much better off than so many of us. He should not be the focus, however. You and your child should be the focus. Everything you do to nurture your child pleases him and raises his feelings for you. Everything you do to enrich your own life makes *you* a more valuable person. No friends? See that more people come around. Hates his life? What's missing from the life that you two share? He dosn't think about you all day? -- Really, why should he have to? Sure it's nice, but if you measure your self-worth by whether he thinks about you all day I'm sure you are badgering him to the point of making him nuts. Lovebuster.<P>You've been pregnant, and had a child. The changes in your body (read: hormones) have altered your consciousness and your behavior. It is *impossible* to *not* have that happen. He doesn't like the changes -- some are changes he'll just have to adjust to, so tough noogies. Others are changes you need to recognize and correct. It's a tough time for both of you. <P>Get moving. Get help. Get poeple around you who can talk to you about what's happening. Get it through your head that you do not have to take what he is saying at face value, because if there is *anything* that any woman should know about *any* man, it's that they have as much insight into their own feelings as the average yak (unless and until something happens that changes them--like seeing a real mess they've created). Don't get angry. Don't get frightened. Don't get depressed. Get help. Now.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Sisyphus (edited January 10, 2001).]

Sound like some stuff that should be checked by a good therapist. Guys have a difficult time sometimes after birth of their children!<P>Guys can feel left out and not a part of the whole process of birth. Again, sounds like he needs to talk with a good therapist and have your involvement!

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by aamymail:<BR><B>Do you guys have any comments on the fog symptoms and what they mean?</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Women get post-partum depression. And some women have trouble adjusting to being a mother. Men can have the same problems.<P>Think about it, here's this little baby that is now getting all of your attention. And the baby was probably getting all your attention before it was even born! You and the baby have probably been the focus for the past year --- not him.<P>If he's still there, good. My H loves our daughter, but doesn't love me...... so we're gearing up to go to custody mediation.<P>Plan A!!!<P>Since the baby has been born, have you had any dates? Have you had a weekend alone? Out of town?<P>It sounds to me as if he's starved for attention. Attention from you that is now going to the baby.<P>If plan A alone doesn't seem to help, then get yourselves into a marriage counselor. And consider getting him evaluated.....to help him make the transition.<P>Good luck! And I think you're awfully lucky to have figured things out while he's still home and you've got a chance to really take some positive actions on this.<P>Plan A!<P>~Amy