ANy thoiughts on just starting from scratch? I mean when you look at things of your marriage and you see that up to this point the way you where living was not productive. That the life you were living was not good. Can a person just start over. I feel the need to get rid of all the things that are holding me back. My house down here which I rent. Most of my anaimals. Pack up all my possesions and store them someplace. I know I have to keep my job here untill I can find a job in Pa but I feel that there really is nothing left for me here. My wife and children are gone. My family (mother,father, sister) barely speak to me because they do not agree with me trying to rebuild my marriage. I gave up all my friends over the course of my marriage. I have support from family (uncles,cousins) in Pa. I just want to start over with my marriage, my life is this a wrong feeling? I feel like tring to rebuild a marriage 500miles away is wrong. But I am very nervous about giving up everything down here with no gaurantees that we will get back together. But I guess it will be better to be close to my children regardless how things work out between my wife and I. Isn't it amazing how one's life can change so much in a short period of time but at the same time stay the same. I just want it all to change at once. Should I move or should I stay? Can anyone really start over in life? Such tough questions but ones that need to be answered. Any advice?

rusty,<p>I don't see why you can't start over. In fact I think it is a great thing to be able to. Think of all the people who should have done it but are still clinging to forms of behavior that should have been modified or jettisoned years ago. It takes some faith and courage to start over, and to me it's even exciting. Yea, I think it's the thing to do.<br>Or...you could opt for being one of those guys who are still running around at age 60 with a shark tooth's necklace dangling in the midst of sparse gray hair on a bony chest. Somebody who should have started over and didn't.

You mean the man my H is going to be if he lives long enough to get old?<p>Some days I have glimpses of that person, others, I have images of the man he used to be. All he has to do to be happy is to believe in himself again. Which he doesn't anymore - partly my fault, but not all. And being with the slug is not helping him believe in anything at all.<p>Sorry ... just having a bad moment.<p>terri

Bruce,<br>I have been thinking. And I tend to agree with you. I need a new home, new job, new clothes, new haircut, but i think I will keep some things like my wife if she is willing, my children, my dog, maybe my wife's horse, my van, but I really want to get out of this lingering depression that as kept me down for years. Here's to starting over. I WILL NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN GOD WILLING.<p>[This message has been edited by rustynail67 (edited 01-10-99).]

If your children are in another town, Move! Your children need you. You can start over in a new town and perhaps, that is what you and your marriage need.<p>Of course, it's important to ensure that you have employment before moving. Hopefully, you will move in with your wife and children? Even if the marriage dissolves, it's important that you live close to the children so they can have the benefit of being raised by two parents.<p><br>Best of luck. Pray often.<p>Courage my friend -be strong and dare to follow your heart.<p>