I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START EXCEPT AT THE BEGINNING.MY HUSBAND AND I MARRIED INITIALLY ABOUT 9 YEARS AGO.WE WERE MARRIED FOR ABOUT 2 YEARS AND HAD ONE CHILD DURING THAT TIME.WE DIVORCED AND REMARRIED AFTER ABOUT A YEAR AND A HALF.WE HAVE NOW BEEN REMARRIED FOR ABOUT 5 YEARS AND NOW HAVE ATOTAL OF 5 KIDS.<BR>OUR RELATIONSHIP SINCE REMARRIAGE HAS BEEN FILLED WITH A LOT OF UPS AND DOWNS.UNFORTUNATELY,MAINLY DOWNS.I CAME BACK TO THE MARRIAGE THINING THAT WAS THE BEST FOR ME AND MY CHILD.HE PROMISED A LOT OF THINGS THAT NEVER CAME TO PASS.THERE HAVE BEEN SEVERAL INSTANCES OF POSSIBLE INFIDELITY BECAUSE OF MEDICAL PROBLEMS I'VE ENCOUNTERED.WHICH OF COURSE HAVE BEEN DENIED BY HIM.WE HAVE NOT RECEIVED ANY COUNSELLING BECAUSE MY HUSBAND REFUSES.WE DO NOT COMMUNICATE VERY WELL AND THINGS ARE REALLY A MESS AT THIS POINT.I AM AT A PLACE OF NOT RELLY KNOWING WHAT TO DO BUT I FEEL THAT I MUST DO SOMETHING.I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND I WOULD LIKE FOR THINGS TO WORK.HOWEVER,THINGS SEEM TO REALLY BE AT AN END.OUR RELATIONSHIP NOW IS FILLED WITH MAINLY DISCONTENTMENT ON MY PART.THERE IS VERY LITTLE SEXUAL FULFILLMENT AND FOR THE MOST PART HE SEEMS UNINTERESTED.I RECENTLY HAD A BABY AND HAD SOME MEDICAL PROBLEMS THAT INDICATED HE HAD BEEN UNFAITHFUL DURING THE PREGNANCY.I'M SERIOUSLY CONSIDERING DIVORCE JUST TO GET CONTROL OF MYSELF MENTALLY.I SURELY FEEL LIKE I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MIND.FINALLY,MY HUSBAND SAYS THAT HE DOESN'T SEE THAT HE'S WRONG AND DOES NOT NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING.CLAIMS THAT HE LOVES ME AND DOESN'T WANT THE MARRIAGE TO END.HE IS NOT WILLING TO TALK OPENLY AND IS ONLY SARCASTIC WHEN I TRY TO TALK.IS THERE ANY HELP?

Not really sure what you are asking here, but welcome.<P>Just a style point. If you post everything in all caps people think you are yelling at them.<P>My input is that you should do everything possible to make sure your 5 babies have an intact family. This does not mean that you roll over and do whatever he wants. Read everything you can on this site. Show it to your husband. Fill out and discuss the questionaires.<P>Use this forum as a resource. Many of us have been through some of the same things. Post here rather than yelling at the H.<P>Finally, keep us posted.

SLJAY,<P>If you husband refuses counseling, then there is no reason why you can't start going by yourself. Us men tend to be thick-headed when it comes to marital counseling, thinking that we can fix what is broke ourselves. Plus some feel that if they go to counseling, they are admitting that they are somehow inadequate when it comes to marriage.<P>If you begin counseling yourself, whomever you go to, may be able to give you some ideas on how you can get your husband there as well.<P>Finally, keep in mind that while it may look like your marital problems are mostly your husband's fault, keep in mind that there are probably things you are doing that contribute to the problems as well.<P>Get to counseling - it WILL help.<P>Mike

Sorry about my style.I am new to this and didn't mean to seem as if I was yelling.<BR>I suppose I didn't really have a question just venting.I am so frustrated now and don't really know what to do.I feel that I have tried all I know to try and things don't seem to be getting any better.My husband won't tell what I'm doing wrong and I honestly don't know.<P>"grandpabri",you mentioned an "intact family",please explain.<P>I feel like the only reason my husband wants to stay around is to keep from paying the child support for 5 minor children.<P>Mike,<BR>I'm not saying that I have done everything right but when you can't find out what the problem is,it is kind of hard to make changes.My husband wants nothing to do with counselling nor will he talk with me seriously about the way I feel.From a man's standpoint is that normal?<P>grandpabri,<P>My husband will not go to counselling and he will not fill,out the forms or read any information that I try to give him.I have tried that on numerous ocassions.He doesn't feel that he has any problems,so,need to hear or read any ideas for change.