Since I have a 3 day weekend I decided it was time to do a little house cleaning. I went through my pictures and packed away all my wedding pictures, honeymoon stuff ect.<P>My 13 year old daughter came in and looked at some of them and I told her I am packing them up just in case you guys (my 3 kids) want them later.<P>I think or hope that this is part of the closer thing. I think that it is funny that they leave us (the WS) and we have to go through all the memory stuff and sift through it all.<P>I did not cry...it was sad though. I looked at his pictures and it was like that person is dead...sounds morbid..I know...but the person he has become is not the one smiling back at me.<P>So now I am divorced for 4 months now and bit by bit trying to forge ahead. <P>I think about everyone here every night and say a prayer for all. You guys are the best and have helped me ever so much!

M-3,<BR>Its funny in that I came across wedding stuff too as I was putting away Xmas decorations(finally). It was the cake top, server,her hat I think. I already got rid of the album(garbage) and her wedding dress (Goodwill), but am not sure what to do with this other stuff. I guess I go through it first and see what it is, then do something with it.<P>Sound like you are doing okay. I'm getting there slowly everyday.<P>Bob

OUCH!...I was just thinking about doing this today - I haven't been able to look at them yet. My mom has one of our wedding pictures on a hutch in her house - she lives with me in a guest house - and I looked at it the other day and felt the same way - the man in that picture is gone - but sadly enough - so is that girl - I won't ever be her again - so sad sometimes...<P>I feel for you - I haven't had the guts to do it yet but will have to soon. <P>J

Although I haven't divorced yet I got rid of all of the wedding stuff. When I packed for my H I put all of the wedding pictures, my ring and a painting he gave me for our anniversary 2 yrs ago. And I brought my handmade wedding dress to salvation army .<P>I know it's sad but like you said it's good for your closure. We all need that at some point.<P>I think things will get easier everyday.<BR>Take care,<P>Meg

I don't understand why people want to do that. I will never give away the dress in which I was married, except to my daughters. I don't want to pretend that I was never married, even if that were possible. I would no more throw away something my H gave me than I would throw away my father's army jacket. <P>My H kept some of his wedding presents from his first marriage for quite awhile - as a matter of fact, I just ran across one the other day. The candle an ex-girlfriend gave him is here as well. I felt kind of bad when before we moved a long distance once we gave away the desk that his first wife gave him.

Thank you all for responding<P>RWD You are right, I ran across items too when I put up the tree (with just the kids and me) this year. When we pulled out the ornaments, I told the kids any ornaments that have first Christmas or 1980 on them (the year we were married) to put aside. I will put those ornaments in the same box with the wedding pictures. <P>I also have my wedding dress, but it is in my hope chest (kinda funny, like what am I hopeing for now) but I will save it too, as I made it and the girls may what to see it sometime.<P>Sounds like you are doing well too. Thanks for responding.<P>G F M<BR>You are so right when you say the girl is gone. The girl in my wedding picture is gone. I remember the night before my first court date. I sat in my closet with our wedding pictures all around me crying so the kids would not hear me. My H came by and laughed at me for crying....<P>MF<BR>I have not given any pictures to my X because he has not asked for any and I do not know if he would throw them away or anything. I got pictures together of the kids a few years ago for him to put on his desk at work and he never took them. Like he was ashame of us or something.<P>I am working on this closure thing. I can't go back to how things were, and I refuse to be at a stand still, so I try to march onward....albeit...sometimes not very well.<P>Nellie1<BR>Thanks for your thoughts....I too do not want to forget I was married...but I do not want to pretend I am now. Putting pictures away was painful...but to me it was healing. Constant reminders of how things were are hard sometimes. I am hopeing that in years to come, hopefully with someone I would like to have a relationship with, or with my kids, I will pull them out and say...See how skinny I used to be....just kidding...but I would like to pull them out and look at them without pain...without tears...regret yes...I thought I would be married to my XH forever (and almost sold my soul trying to win him back) but to be able to remember a very happy time in my life.<P>Thanks for responding.<BR>

Hi m3k,<P>I'm glad you did that. I think I remember posting about a month ago to you about this very subject.<P>I haven't thrown anything away, but I have stored it all. The only photos of him in my house are of him and the girls, in their bedrooms.<P>I also kept my wedding dress. My eldest d already likes to play 'dress ups' in it, and quite frequently says that she is going to wear it when she gets married.!!! She's 5!!!<P>One day, I will be able to go through the pictures and the wedding album without crying, but at the moment I can't.<P>But getting rid of the photos that I had around the house turned out to be one of the best things I have ever done. He no longer looks at me from every corner of my house, reminding me of what could have been, but now will never be. Reminding me of what has happened, and how so much has changed.<BR>yep, it was definitely the best thing to do. And the girls haven't suffered, he's still in their rooms, with them. I'm actually just about to ask him to pose with the girls individually for an updated photo for their rooms.<P>anyway, glad you did it.<BR>take care, and here's the biggest hug for you<P>Jo

I'm not divorced yet, but I have been slowly removing pictures with my STBX in them and storing them in box. They were a constant reminder of the wonderful times that I had with her, and also a constant reminder that there, in all likelihood, will be no more of them.<P>It hurt to do it, but I no longer stop when going by a picture of us doing something together and wistfully remember all those good times, never again to be experienced. I will never forget being married to her, but right now a constant reminder of the wonderful woman I lost is a little too painful.<P>Take care...<P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again<p>[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited January 15, 2001).]

I'm not divorced either, but I did the same thing this past weekend. I took all the picture of him down off the walls, packed up all the "marriage" stuff I had, including my wedding dress and our rings and put them all in a box in the attic. I don't have kids and don't really know what I'm saving it for, but I just couldn't throw it all out.<P>I even boxed up all my H's clothes, books, etc. (all the stuff he left here) and stored them. He called me for something today and Itold him that his stuff was all in the garage and if he wants it, to come get them. <P>It was hard for me to take my wedding ring off (New Year's Day), but it's been a year and my first resolution was to de-H my house. It feels kinda good, but on the other had it is quite sad.<P>So now I don't see any evidence of him ever being in our house. It feels like I'm on my own again and again, it's kinda sad, but I'm feeling alot better these days thanks to Plan B. Not as many emotional ups and downs and has helped me accept that it's over.<P>I wish everyone a great 2001! May it be better than last year!<P>Aloha,<BR>Mrs.O<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Mrs.O (edited January 15, 2001).]

I did keep the pictures and wedding memento, put them in a box, perhaps the kids will want them someday. <BR>One of the things I did do was divide up old family pics. I put them in a couple of photo albums and gave them to my x. He was very appreciative that I had done it. I tried to put them in chronological order, and he was thrilled that I still cared enough to do that for him. <P>------------------<BR>Susan