My gut is talking...I have steered away for a few days because I have had so much sorting out to do...I have decided that I will file for divorce and break free. It really is breaking free. I am married to a man who I believe is either in another relationship or headed that way. I believe he will take to his grave that he was never intimate with the first A, but I down deep know otherwise. It has been a tough weekend. A very liberating one too. It's time to break the ties and move on...I am ready, well as ready as I ever will be. Even if there isn't someone else right now I believe that my lack of faith in him and my suspecting the worse, his lack of effort to be married, means that we shouldn't be. I am sad that this has occurred, but I made a mistake. He isn't the type of person to be faithful to anyone...including himself. He is a nice guy and I did love him very deeply. But I can honestly say that it's over for me. And with that..I am forging forward. Anyone else been here? I am ready for the pain to be gone and the new challenges of being on my own to begin.

Hi cpickel,<P>I'm sorry that it looks like your heading down this road. My situation is a bit different than yours, but I understand wanting the pain to subside. I'm not quite as interested about being on my own, but I'm starting to adjust.<P>I'm really sorry he didn't want to work on your relationship. I know the frustration in trying to make something work on your own. There are some very wise people on this board and I'm sure you will find their advice helpful. I know I have.<P>By the way, I'm sorry to see you over here.<P>Take care...<P><P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again