Man I feel strange today. I haven't had this problem since high school back when they did duck and cover drills.<P>There is this lady in the building (The one I said in a post somewhere that took the tag out of my sweater collar.) and man does she lite up when I walk by. Smiles from ear to ear. Pulls the hair back out of hear eyes and off the forehead. Says Hi with that twinkle in her eye. <P>My problem is I have a hard time looking at her.. The nose ring probably has something to do with it. and this red/black hair color that kinda reminds me of some kinda satanic cult movie of the 80's. Sparling personallity though. <P>LTM(laughing to myself)What a problem to have. I guess this is a high day on the roller coaster of live.. I figure I'll make small talk and smile back.. Who knows we may even go play kick ball on the play grounds or play tag like all of the other kids.. <P>Oh WOW. I just realized. Playing can be and is fun.. I must add as long as nobody gets hurt. This is a neat feeling that I haven't had in a very long time.. <P><BR>

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by AgoodManInTexas:<BR><B>The nose ring probably has something to do with it.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>The nose ring is probably a slip-on (instead of a through-the-flesh thing). The slip-ons are very popular these days...<P>Have fun!<P>Bama<P>

Tex,<P>Things could be worse I've actually found piercings and acts of self-expression (tattoo's)rather inticing myself, as long as they are not taken to extreme. <P>I think it just goes to show the free-spirit and sense of individuality that people are sometimes too afraid to let out.<P>Don't be scared off by the nose ring. Take it as a compliment that she is taking notice in you and enjoy some innocent flirting. It will do wonders for your self-esteem.<P><p>[This message has been edited by Jayhawk 93 (edited January 16, 2001).]

While it is flattering to have attention paid to you, it is the absolute pits when it's someone you can't avoid and you find physically very unappealing.

cinderella.. You nailed it.. <P>Jayhawk 93.. The weekend party I'm going to have after my D I plan on getting a tatoo. two of them really. On my right chest on the upper peck I want a pair of baby blue sea gulls about 2 inches in size ea. kinda flying in formation and then just off to the left of that I want the japaneese figures for Ah-Kie-Do which mean Peace, Harmony, The Path or Way..

Tex,<P>I think that's a good idea. I had toyed with the idea of a divorce party, but it never came about. I also thought about getting my eyebrow pierced to mark the occassion and was talked out of that one.<P>I'm not sure if you saw it on one of the other threads or not, but I got a tattoo myself a few weeks after my divorce became final. I went with an abstract design by the artist M.C. Escher. This particular design is of a fish, but if you look closely you will see that it is actually two separate fish positioned to look like one. The original is black and white, but we added color to set it off. It's something that will have meaning for me and I like it more and more each day.

Jayhawk 93,<P>Would you believe I thought of a tattoo as well? For me it would be a single small teardrop, somewhere with low visibility (maybe lower ankle). For no-one else to see but me as a reminder of the pain and hurt and growth that has occured over the past year.<P>But strange as it sounds, over the past months thoughts have resurfaced about possibly applying to the FBI - for some reason I used to dream about being an agent. Before I always had "ties", now I have none. Anyways, I know federal agencies like that don't really like "identify marks" on bodies....<P> <BR>Mike

Quick question for you.... is she the one that walked up to you with the scisors and cut the tag out??? If so, I could understand you feeling scared when she did it. I am kidding.<P>Playing devil's advocate here.... we must remember that it is not the outward appearence that makes the person. Beauty does flow from within. I will admit that physical attraction does play a role, but say.... just a hypathetical here... say you meet the same person in an online chat. You guys hit it off wonderfully, having tons of comonalities, and the conversations are exquisit. The two of you talk on the phone for hours. You find yourself attracted to the person that she is and not what she looks like. Then you meet her and she has the outward appearence as she does, would you be turned off? Would all of the things shared now be meaningless? Second, what if it is purely for show.... ummmm how to explain it.... she does it purely to see what she can get away with or to get attention? Perhaps she gets her hair to a nice "normal" color and takes the nose ring out, would there then be something there? Do you disqualify a woman from a potential date list because she has a piercing or a tatoo perhaps? What if the piercing or tatoo are not visable to the eye? Just asking questions here....<P>I admit, looks do play a role. It is nice to have someone that has a wonderful personality and also be pleasant to gaze upon across a room. And I can understand Cinderella's point, if you do find her as physically very unappealing, it does make it uncomfortable. Understanding that you can not avoid the situation since you do work with her, honesty is always the best policy. State that you are flattered, but nothing more. Also think that perhaps you might be reading her signals in the wrong way. I would smile and light up when co-workers that I had absolutly no intrest in would come up to my desk for things. I always found it as a pleasant break in the monotony of the day. As I said.... just playing both sides here. No offense intended.<P>Otherwise... yes, playing and flirting is fun. It does wonders for your sense of self esteem. Enjoy it!! In this world and these times when there often seem to be more bad than good, take the occasional happy thought and revel in it for a moment. Take the time to find the things that make you happy and do them. Have fun!<P>~Java

Mike,<P>In answer to your question, it does kind of surprise me that you have considered a tattoo yourself. I had considered the idea of a teardrop myself, but had heard somewhere that the meaning behind a teardrop tattoo meant that you had taken one's life. I don't remember where I heard that little tidbit, probably a movie, but it still popped into my head. Regardless of other symbolisms, if it's something you feel strongly about, then go for it.<P>It's funny you mentioned wanting to look into the FBI, or at least a possible carerr change. I just pulled up a college curriculm online today looking for something new myself. I already have an undergrad degree, but I want something different. Now that I have no ties, going back to school to get a second degree in something that really interests me may be the best thing to do right now. It's a long shot, but we'll see.

Java.. <P>Its the same one with the tag.. HeHeHe.. After reading some of the post here on this thread. I decided that I would ask her out to lunch just for the reasons you mention. Its on the inside. Also being aware I nothing to get starteed between us. But then something wild happened. <P>She wasn't in, I guess I missed her. (No Problem here) but again while I was standing in the caffateria line for the second day. Out of nowhere this guy walks up and asks what the heck have I been doing? I turn around and it was an old buddy that I haven't seem in 5-8 years. Standing there like it was old times. After a 2-3 hour lunch I realize how much things have changed. He was the big partier. Now he has been saved. has been married 7 years 2 kids, etc. He just works 2 buildings down from my office and his car was parked in the parking lot and he just decided to come in to get a bite and there I was.. Unbelievable.. He works in mysterious ways.. ;-) and I love it. Just Pedal..

Well, A nose ring or a tattoo wouldn't necessarily spell doom for my interest in a woman, but extra fingers or toes, a hump or a really big wart with hair growing out of it would definitely turn me off I think toe rings are really cute (on cute toes of course!). Black fingernail polish and some of the Goth outfits/styles are a little extreme, but I used to wear bell bottoms, so I'd better not throw any stones around the style debate <P>I'll admit, I'm a sucker for a cute face & a nice body, but if it's wrapped around the wrong personality it's not worth it. I think anyone can make the most out of their physical attributes, and that counts for a lot.<P>Anyhow, I've found myself smiling at all the girls I meet. It's amazing how many of them smile back. I must not be such a troll after all <P>------------------<BR>nick<P>it's only time that heals the pain <BR>and makes the sun come out again<p>[This message has been edited by c00ker (edited January 16, 2001).]

I found myself a lot more open minded about things like that than in the past. My wardrobe is becoming a lot less "classic" and boring. I am dressing more funky and trendy (I'm 28, so it's not too wierd, but my students seem to think its really unusual). I am wearing SOME strange 60's looking stuff and am considering getting a tattoo, too. I want a lady bug or an abstract design. I am looking for something that indicates creativity and spirit--particularly the literary kind (I'm a poet). If I had a six pack, my behind (and belly button) would be in the next piercing place having that done.<P>I would date someone with piercings or tattoos as long as they didn't depict some brazen depravity. I've also considered dating someone of a slightly different faith or race. After seeing what makes a marriage (for me) and determining what issues are important, I think I can be a bit more accepting of things that aren't "deal breakers." <P>As for flirting with this retro girl, it is a lot of fun. I flirt with everyone now. It's amazing the response you get when you do that. I guess you appear less uptight and playful. It also gives you practice for relating comfortably with the opposite sex in all kinds of situations. WHo knows, the girl of your dreams could be in the next office!<P>

I was going to get my nose pierced--seriously--but my son, age five, said I was a "bad mommy" when I went to the mall to get it done. Sucks when you have to do what your kids say. And Bill said it was nasty, and I listen to what he says (hee hee.)<P>I don't see what's wrong with it--when I was a kid, all the Christian girls didn't get their ears pierced because "if God wanted holes in your ears, he would have put them there." Then, it was the guys--it was a huge freakin deal if a guy a an earring. Then it was a huge freakin deal if he had two earrings.<P>Being a fairly conservative, average, everyday girl next door without any rage issues or the "need to express myself," I still don't see what's wrong with it. I am half Indian and it's the hallmark of my mom's tribe to pierce the nose, or it used to be in the old days. I don't feel much closeness to the tribe or the culture, being raised with the white side of my family, but I think that it would be cool to follow in the tradition.<P>I think a little itty diamond stud is kind of classy. But then, they would still stare at me at church and I don't want to mess with that right now. . .maybe later.<P>Piercing one's eyebrow/face/tongue--WHAT FOR? It LOOKS painful! Unhygenic, and barbaric--but, then that's me.<P>Tattoos--ok. But think of what your tattoo is going to look like when you are 70. I don't want one because I want to be a beautiful grandma.<P>

I may be an old fuddy duddy here - but piercings and tattoos are really awful when you get older - imagine those wrinkled - with surgical scars through them - then think again....<P>I always hated seeing them - when I was younger - now it is just really gross - <P>and - no - I'm not THAT old~!

gsd,<BR>Have you ever considered sharing any of your poetry on the poetry page? If you have and I missed it, then I humbly apologize <P>Bernzini and seekingjoy,<BR>I understand your thoughts and concerns about the appearance of tattoo's once you become older but you have to consider a few things here: (at least in my case)<BR>1. I am only 30 now so I have 40 years to enjoy my ink until the thought of what it will look like at age 70 comes to my mind.<BR>2. The men in my family don't live that long so the chances that I will ever see 70 myself is remote!<BR>3. If I am blessed and happen to still be around in another 40 years, I can only hope that my beautifully colored fish still looks as good then as it does today. And if I have a wife by my side to balance the symbolism, then so much the better.<BR>4. At age 70, factoring in wrinkles, sags, vericose veins, liver spots, balding and all of the other natural signs of aging, a tattoo will be last of my physical worries.<BR>5. I also chose to have my tattoo done on my upper back, actually on my right shoulder blade. It's in such a place that it can't be seen unless I remove my shirt and I can't imagine doing that too often in my senior years....<P>All joking aside, I have thought of all the consequences of having something permanently inked onto my skin, and I am happy with my decision. I chose an area that is not visible to the general public under normal circumstances and I picked a design which represents a belief that I will never change.

No, no, no, Jayhawke, that's cool--I think that tattoos are kinda sexy. Especially if they mean something really special. Drawing on your skin like a toddler scribbles is something altogether different, though. Vampires, bloody skulls with fangs and naked women are a big turn-off as far as tattoos go, in my humble opinion. But if it's something meaningful and special to you, it's your body, why not?<P>I flirted with the idea myself for a long time, but decided against it. Being in the army, and being so far away from my children for long periods of time, I wanted a tangible momento of them, something physical to look hold onto when it became unbearable to be apart from them. I wanted the chinese word for "love" and their names tattooed on. . .well, I was wondering if it should be loud and proud or a secret, but then I decided against it completely. . . Like I said, I don't want a murky purple blotch somewhere on my body when I am a motorhome granny.

Bernzini,<P>I was not taking offense. I was just explaining my rationale.....tat's are definately not for everyone and I agree that having one just to have one is a little silly, especially the real dark ones. Unless the dark ones have meanings, but even then people can have a change of heart, then they are stuck with the ink.<P>Tat's as reminders of children or loved ones, especially of those that have passed are very special, but I would be very afraid to have the name of a spouse on my body just because you never know.....as most of us here can attest.

Jayhawk-<BR>No, I haven't posted anything on this site. I try not to publish my poetry anywhere on the web simply because I am currently submitting work for publication elsewhere. I haven't even read any from this site. I guess I should. I think my poems would be a little dark for some here, though. Some might offend. . . .

gsd,<P>When you said you were a Poet, I had no idea that you really meant that seriously. I just assumed that you ‘dabbled’ in poems, therefore, may have some to share. I completely understand why you are keeping them off the web at this point. <P>I have looked at the poem link, but there are very few for the past month or so. There are many more if you expand the last to include the past year. <P>I myself am not a Poet, however, I am toying with the idea of attempting some poem writing as the mood strikes. I took a poetry course in college which I enjoyed, although I had to struggle at times to understand the underlying meanings. I tend to be more of a literal person which isn’t always the best when deciphering someone’s work.<BR>

Jayhawk-<BR>A literal mind is far more helpful when writing poetry than one might think. Some poets never get out of figurative land enough to make a concrete image or experience. Then we are left with some nonsense that no one except those on acid can understand or relate to. I keep doing it because it is therapuetic. ACtually, my H was a writer (fiction, mostly). Unpublished, but aspiring. He found that talent/desire during our marriage, though I had always had it and had had some mild recognition for it. Once he decided to pursue writing seriously, he began pouting/whining whenever I wrote anything worth reading: "I don't know what I will do if you get published before me!" etc etc. While I have had success, up to that point he had had none. His comments and jealousy killed my spirit, so to speak. I didn't write for two years. I cannot blame anyone but me though for letting it happen. It's kind of like I'm finding my soul again. I'm even getting my masters in Creative Writing. (I hope I do get published before him! )