In the last five weeks I found out that my wife wasnt happy (shock to me). Christmas eve she told me to find someone else because she didnt love me (hard words to hear from someone you love so much). The day after Christmas she met with her attys and on Friday I signed the papers. Over the weekend I went out of town and she moved out half of her belongings yesterday. <P> I really thought that when I returned home that my emotions would put me in a further tail spin down. But I was wrong, I don't feel that upset. Don't get me wrong It saddens me to see my wife leave but I feel okay. I just keep telling myself that everything happens for a reason and that sometimes when we are in the middle of a life crisis we wonder why they are happening to us but one day we can look back and see a good reason. <P><BR>I know that even though I feel okay now that saddness will revisit me again but we all must look ahead and live every day to the fullest. Thank you all for your kind words of support during the last few weeks. I hope that I can help others in the future like you have helped me.<P>

have hope,<P>Just know that you will have recurring feelings of sadness, then happiness, then sadness, then happiness.... As we put it here - it is the roller-coaster of emotions - up and down. There is no rhyme or reason as to when the emotions shift or for how long each one lasts (sometimes hours, sometimes days, sometimes weeks).<P>I guess all I am saying is that when I first started down this road 10 months ago, I could not believe the radical emotional shifts that occured in me. I thought I was losing it. Then I came here and some nice people helped me to see that it is perfectly normal and that overtime, while the shifts keep happening, their impact tends to lesson and you grow better able to handle them.<P>So keep strong and don't hesitate to write, just to let us know what is going on with you.<P>God Bless,<BR>Mike

That roller coaster is real. The peace you feel is real, but so will be the grief you will probably experience in a little while. I know that doesn't sound encouraging, but it is realistic. I am glad you see that too. I have focused on the fact that I should be grateful even for my pain. I have learned SOOOOO much from this; it is like a never ending lesson. It is sometimes overwhelming and beautiful that, yes, I sometimes cry for joy. (I sound like a maniac, I know.) <P>I hope that you can keep seeing the "reasons" that are there and stay true to your name.

Thanks for your reply gsd. Even since my post I felt sadness. I cant seem to get the image of my STBX & OM out of my head (thinking of that really gets to me).<P> If you dont mind what are some of the lessons that you have learned.