I just got read the riot act from the stbx wife. It seems that after I read the book ergo the 'robbed thread' I talked to my parents. My Father (not her abusive father) took it on himself to write her a long email, in it he talks plainly, openly, Lovingly, and honestly, and he gets to the point.. <P>Seems the wife doesn't want 'My Family' to send her e-mails at her work because her MIS dept. reads her mail before she gets it and there was personal stuff that she didn't want anybody else to see.<P>Now understand that I have been in the computer/Internet world for a very very long time. It is my profession. and nobody reads/looks at all the e-mail coming into a company anymore. That what they have software to do.. looking for porno and the like.<P>Anyway, I digress. She just wants to hide everything. After the book came out and pandora left the box, she is in damage control big time. She must control what other people think of her.. I'm sorry. I believe the Truth will set you free.. I live in the light not in the closet.. <P>I told her I would inform him not to send any more e-mails and after I hung up I felt a brand new feeling.. <P>Pity.. I'm starting to pity her.. My poor stbx wife just can't stand to be open.. What a shame..

Don't pity her. I really wouldn't want that kind of thing in the institutional memory of the company where I worked (if I worked at a company). It was *way* out of line, but of course you didn't have control over it. <P>If you can get an apology to her out of your father (*not* to the same e-mail address), make it happen. <P>For her, the shocks just keep coming. She *will* be able to handle all this, but not yet.

eduating a spouse is a LB, unless asked for.<P>you should know that!<P>it is even worse from an X spouse, which may be why she escaped you in the first place!<P>If you read my email, I could have educated my X on how she is so dependent upon the kids liking her, that she is being a pathetic parent, in my opinion, but I choose to let her figure that out on her own. She will, but at the kid's expense, and in the past, when I bring up this, i get instant resentment, as I am not a professional teacher (like i don't teach my job to my direct reports, etc, but to her its business, and not the same.)<P>so refrain from the education, let her fix herself when she wants to. WS who don't look at themselves, aren't into self improvement to be the best they can be.<P>usually the Plan A person is into it.<P>tom

I called my dad and he said he didn't know about her internet connection. and most of all wasn't educationing her.. (10-15 minutes ago) <P>and I just got another phone call from the stbx that she understands that he didn't know any better.. Appearantly he called her at her work and apologized.. <BR>

Hi Agoodman...<P>Boy can I relate to that.<BR>We had some investments that I had done through a bank manager friend of mine. When we separated, I obviously needed the money early so I had to explain what had happened. ie, we had separated and I was moving interstate. He went off the deep end about me telling everyone our business. Well hello, for me, it was easier to explain with the TRUTH than to lie. Why should I have to lie to cover his backside.........<P>anyway, I have no words of wisdom for you, except for the fact that they must now find everything out themselves. I have discovered that WHENEVER I open my mouth, even to say hello, it's usually the wrong thing.......<P>take care of you and have a nice day<P>Jo