I need advice before I explode. I found out my husband of 20 yrs is having an affair with a co-worker. I confronted him and he said he didn't want to be married to me anymore and that he wanted to move out immediately and date. He told me the co-worker has nothing to do with it. My husband is the boss at work and spends approx. 70 hours a week at work. To complicate matters more, my teenage son also works at the same place (15 people work there). I want to confront the woman because I am so angry, but I know this is silly. Does he think that fellow employees don't know what is going on. Eventually they will find out and then what happens? I think this puts my son in a very awkward position but my husband says I'm ridiculous. My children do not know about the situation. They are teenagers and will be devastated. I'm trying to be civil but the tears are getting in the way. Am I avoiding the inevitable and just torturing myself by trying to save my marriage?

Dear Mad Dog, <P>Oh, how so many of us have been where you are....NSR will be by shortly to give you some links for more information. <BR>If this has just happened, take some time to breathe deep and calm down. Do some reading on this site, especially the just found out board, and if you can find the book " Surviving an Affair" get it, or order it from this site and read it before you make ANY decisions at this time. <BR>You CAN save your marriage..it takes work, but it can be done. Get counsleing form someoe who knows MB techniques. You can get it from this site as well. <BR>Good luck, we will be here for you!<P>------------------<BR>Susan

Continue to post on this column, you get alot of support and good advise. It has been a great source of comfort for me.<BR>God bless

Susan, <BR>Thanks so much for your prompt reply. You made me feel better already. I confronted my husband last Saturday. I asked him to leave the job but he says that is not open to discussion.

Welcome <B>Mad Dog</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>Like <B>sue</B> said...<BR>...take it easy...<BR>...access your actions by lerning the <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html" TARGET=_blank>MB Concepts</A>...<P>The issue of job change is a tought one...<BR>...take your time on it...<BR>...but it may have to become (for him too) an option.<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>