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#680894 01/24/01 04:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 188
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Brief history - wife out of blue walks out and files for divorce. We had one child. Claims there is no one else, no boyfriend. Continues claim for almost two years. (Unfortunately, she has history of lies/deception). Within two years of divorce, she marries boyfriend (who walked out on wife and two kids for her). He was someone she worked with. The marriage was never announced and I found out, I think, months later. Still don't know when it took place. Question is - why all the secrecy?

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<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Okieman:<BR><B>Question is - why all the secrecy? </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Guilt.<P>Shame.<P>Fear.<P>Inability to adequately explain--caused by lack of clarity regarding one's own thoughts and feelings.<P>The psychological mechanism of "avoidance" of unpleasant situations.<P>A misplaced sense that it's kinder to not wave things in your face.

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They do not want to face consequences for their actions. They did not want paople to know what their motives were. The secrecy showed there was motives. If they only knew that God knows what they have done. They will fall into the pattern unless they both seek counseling. The marriage will probably only last 5 yrs if that. I hope you are moving on with your life. Its sad that there are children involved. The children will pick up on the pattern also. God Bless!!


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