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I've not even had time to fully process the information.<P>stbx's mother told me this evening that stbx found a lump in her breast. Don't know what the status is. Supposedly she has gone for a mammo, and is going for another.<P>Since I got the information second hand, should I even mention anything to her?<P>I don't wish her evil, but then don't really wish her well, either. It is too bad that on top of everything else, this happens. On the other hand, the news did not really upset me. Guess I am putting some distance between us.<P>I don't know.
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Joined: Nov 2000
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That is a hard one to answer. I am trying to put myself in your position. A bit hard as I am not sure of the relationship yoy have with stbx.<P>As I am still annoyed with my stbx and my feelings are still very raw. I would leave it until he contacted me. Of couse I would be concerned, but my stbx has a sexual harrassment charge at work just after we broke up. (number 3) He cam to me for help and support. It really just screwed me up as I was still caring and giving and he just used me.<P>Perhaps ask the mother to keep you informed and make contact if and when you know the severity.<P>Well that is my advise for all it is worth
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Joined: Sep 1999
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Interesting...<P>My W found a lump last year...<BR>...or more accurately<BR>...she made sure I know the OM found it... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) <P>My W's was benign...<P>But she would NOT let me come with her to the doctors... (this was before she moved out physically... but at that point she had moved out emotionally)<P>I hope for the best for you and your W.<P>You'll get through this all!<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Jim
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Send the most fitting get well card you can find. Don't tell STBX where you found out. Then you can forget about it more easily.
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Joined: Apr 2000
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Well, now having slept on this information, I have a better idea what I am feeling.<P>I have the same feelings as I would if I found out someone at work that I don't have much contact with, maybe just a "hi" as we pass in the hall, was faced with the same thing. It is really too bad that it happened, but I really have no rush of emotion or desire to protect or take care of her. I hope everything is OK for the kids sake, but other than that...<P>Now it may be different if she comes to me with the information, but I doubt that she will do that.
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grandpabri,<P>I don't think "how" you found out should matter. I think your stbx has found something that is scareing the *hit out of her. If it were me, I would make every opportunity to let her know that I would be here for her, if only as a friend. Which is the same thing I would say and do if it was just an aquaintance at work. But I do admit, I am a little different than most people in this respect - I often err on becoming too involved, rather than not getting involved at all.<P>It would not matter to me that my wife hurt me in the past, or she did this or said that. Something like this could be life threatening. When it comes to that I like to put hurt feelings aside.<P>just my opinion....<BR>Mike<P>------------------<BR>God always waits for the right time to do the right thing in the right way.
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I have been thinking about this thread all nite. Two things keep sticking out in my mind.<P>1.) You reap, what you Sow.<BR>2.) Take the High road. <P>This is not somebody you would meet on the street or pass in the halls at work.. Its your X. I think there is a slight defference, maybe not that much, but a defference.
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