I read the article by Willard F. Harley, Jr. on "How the Co-dependency Movement Is Ruining Marriages". It talks about how co-dependency has been wrongfully extended to many other marriages when it originally applied only to marriages where one or both spouses were alcholics or addicts. It mentions the idea that when an alcoholic is married to a loving spouse, it drains the caring spouse of everything they have, leaving him or her exhausted and failing to meet their sick spouse's needs. <p>Is the idea of co-dependency also applicable to spouses of a husband or wife suffering from a major mental illness? I am asking this because I am married to a man with bipolar illness and have been involved in a support group for co-dependents. This illness is very difficult to live with for both of us. At times I consider myself "controlling" and at other times "caretaking". This has caused conflict in our marriage. Some of what I have learned from material on co-dependency has helped me not to fall into extremes with these behaviors. Is this just coincidence or are some of the concepts found in the treatment of co-dependence applicable to mental illness?<p><p><p><p> <p>