<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Sisyphus:<BR><B>The <I>rewriting of the marital history</I> is a very spiteful, if understandably natural, process. The better the man, the worse it hurts him.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I won't say I never loved him. However, it started as a physical relationship and we never became friends -- we both mistook a strong chemistry for true love. If you were to take the physical aspect out of the relationship, we were nothing more than roommates who really didn't like each other much. I am guilty of withholding sex when I was emotionally hurt. That was devastating to the relationship, just like his emotional abuse.<P>We were married not that long after my father died unexpectedly. I don't think I was ready for marriage, but desperately needed someone to fill that void. He was never anything like my father, which made it even more difficult to get along ... I unfairly held him up to an example he could never hope to match, and I didn't even know I was doing it.<P>I am more than willing to take my share of blame, but I won't carry the full load which is what he wants ... he feels it is all me and is reacting in accordance. He wants everything. I want what is fair. Our kids are caught in the middle. I want them to spend a fair amount of time with their father, but when he is spending much of 'his' time away from them and filling them with false information about me, I can't see how that is helpful to them.<BR>