Well well well. H really wanted the March break...so he called me back after getting my lawyers response to his whining that he should call me......<P>I told him that while I had a problem with returning home after midnight on Sunday the day school starts, I really knew d wanted to go on the holiday with him, and I wanted her to be able to go. He asked if he could get a Sat-Sat trip would this be OK...and I told him of course...even if the flight came in after midnight on Sat I would not have a problem.<P>He was then ready to listen to all the other issues re d. How she was doing badly at school. He told me that he knew she had a tutor,so I asked him what HE was doing about it., especially when d who jumps at any opportunity to see him, lets school work suffer and lies about her committments. He was shocked.I explained that I had asked him to call me when all this erupted 2 years ago so that I could check the calendar etc...and if she was free,then she could go to see him. He asked why I did not just say no. I told him that I could not fight with d about everything.<P>I explained that d tries things she should not and he said "My Daughter?" I asked how he would monitor her when away. He said " she will have no money"I explained that she did not need money to drink or smoke as BOYS would buy this. He was horrified!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>I told him that I explain exactly the consequences if she does things which she should not do and I enforce this...so d is learning. He listened and said I should TRUST him to do the right thing(I nearly barfed).I did tell him that I did not trust him and he had no comment!<P>I suggested that he meet alone with her therapist to get an unbiased and professional opinion regarding her "issues" which are huge. He told me "well I have seen her often" He was surprised when I told him...."yes 2X and with d"...and then he said"well I spoke to her last week" I explained that saying hello did not count and that it would be a good idea to consult her very soon. He said he would.<P>I addressed the issue of his cancelling or dropping d off any time,any day, if his plans did not permit his visitation as is happening this weekend.<BR>I explained that while it was my pleasure to have d in my home,when she is with him for the alternate weekend visitation I am out doing what I enjoy doing,but when d is here I do not live the same way, so to please notify me as soon as he has plans which intefere with his visitation,so I can plan my life accordingly. He told me...."if your lawyer did not send bombshells just before I go away...then I would"I told him that since I had no idea when he had other plans,how could I plan this. I repeated 2X that the kids never tell me about his plans. He mulled this over and told me that he would notify me well in advance in future.<P>D had dinner with him tonight. She told me that father told her that he thought she was "perfect" but she has been lying to him and really was not perfect and that he will be calling me much more regarding her stuff. He told her that he was disappointed that she lies. She told me shetold him that she learnt this from him!!!!!!!<P>I am really happy as from day one I told him that I would have a working relationship with him re the kids, should we not reconcile, but he chose no relationship and no communication wi8th me, effectively abdicating all parental responsibility. This should now make it less conflictual for the kids...and the party for them and dad is over in that hopefully he will be able to stop playing them up...i.e. good (him) versus bad (me) parent.<P>He also told me that he had wanted to mediate kids issues and I asked him why he had not followed up in my lawyers suggestion to call x mediator in Sept 2000. He told me this was done. I asked him who did it and he told me"my lawyer"I explained that no-one had contacted the mediator. He asked me how I knew. I told him that I had provided the name to his lawyer and since I refused to facilitate this, the mediator, who I had spoken to, told me she would let me know if he ever called, and I know his did not happen. Guess he will have to talk to his lawyer who made other errors as well. <P>Well at least the ostrich has been able to take his head out of the sand regarding his d...this is a beginning. Hopefully he will follow through and begin to understand that these 4 children have a mother who is alive and well.. as it is in my children and my best interests!!!!!!<P>Now hopefully the fog will lift a little more and he will get rid of sl@t !!!!!!<BR><p>[This message has been edited by willbok99 (edited February 02, 2001).]
