Hi, i have been lurking for a couple of months, and have a question. I am recently divorced, and am starting in the dating scene. its definately different than i am used to.<P>Valentine's day is coming up, and I wonder, what is the woman's read on a valentine card? I have recently met someone interesting, but just friends at the moment. We have been out in a group, but i am trying to figure out when to take her on a formal date, or just us, if that is a formal date. So if I send one, how will she interpret it? I don't want to go too fast, i read about some recent high speed accidents on the superhighway of life.<P>I don't want to have one, just want to let her know that she is a woman friend that i like.<P>sportsguy

SG,<P>I read an article on valentines in our local paper last year. According to the newspaper, women love valentines! Fully eighty five percent of valentines are eagerly purchased by women, and men tend to feel pressured to buy the other fifteen percent.<P>And when women recieve Valentine cards they read them over and over and they tend to save them. They read all the flowery prose written by some faceless poet as if it is really directed to them by you, words from your heart. In fact, most of those verses are written by women who know what women want to hear. For whatever reason, men don't pay quite as much attention to these cards, and often a man will send a card without even reading what is written inside.<P>If that is true, maybe the reason a woman gives a man a valentine is because she wants a card to be given to her so much, she just takes it for granted that he wants the card just as bad as she does, so she gives him what she really wants for herself. <P>I don't know if that is true or not, but the whole greeting card industry has a higher profit margin than the pusherman selling dope.<P>I've been in a couple of self help meetings where a number of women talked about husbands or boyfriends who either neglected or forgot to send the valentines. The range of emotions ran from disappointment to distraught to enraged. From the way they expressed themselves, giving a valentine isn't merely a romantic gesture from a guy, it is something she really wants and something he is expected to do.<P>There used to be a credit card commercial that advised "Don't leave home without it!" Where valentines are concerned, the idea seems to be "Don't go home without it!"<P>OK, now I'm going to suggest that you go ahead and send a card, maybe even flowers or chocolates, but don't let the message say something you don't want her to believe. Maybe take a little time to shop through the valentine display for the card that says I'm interested and I'd like to get to know you, but steer clear of those syruply, desparately, hopelessly, helplessly in love cards. They can backfire, and make her think you are nuts.<P>Well, all I know is what I read in the papers. Sure hope some of the women will post on this one.<P>Bumper<P>

Well, I am one of those people who has experienced a few fender benders on that super highway so read with caution.<P>I think a valentine card would be nice. There are plenty out there that are "just for friends". I would select one of those.<P>

Last year I was working in a greeting card shop. I can answer this with many qualifications, therefore.<P>As a woman, yes! Go and shop carefully. There are many cards which are not too mushy. Some are downright silly. I would avoid, naturally, hearts and flowers. And sexual inuendo. <P>As a former cardshop employee. Do shop now!!! In a few days the choices will drop precipitously. Severely! Incredibly!! And your choice will be so much slimmer you won't believe it. DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT wait until this weekend. <P>

Just got back from the card shop. Hey Guys, this is a great place to meet women. There were at least two dozen women in there shopping for Valentines cards, and the male side was just me and one sexy senior citizen.<P>This little old man had himself surrounded by four or five women! All he had to do was look helpless and they came to his rescue. They were telling him that he looked too young to be a grandfather and stuff like that! He was in like flint! <P>Don't let an opportunity like this go to waste!<P>Bumper<P>

Hey Sportsguy!<P>Gads, does this mean I'm a typical woman??? I love to get cards (especially valentines), and yes, I do usually save them. (Except the ones from the x which I burned last VDay ).<P>Get a card, and maybe a flower (watch out for roses.... maybe a pretty carnation or even a little flowering plant for her desk at work?) <P>Ok, so I'm a mushy romantic type.... send me flowers and a card and I'm hooked! I had a guy friend send me flowers one year, and it was soooo sweet. Nothing more than friendship ever came of it, but it did put some little ideas (just little ones mind) in my head. That's something to think about... some warm fuzzies without any pressure !<P>Good Luck & Smooches!<BR>Butterfly<BR>

<p>[This message has been edited by WhenIfindthetime (edited February 07, 2001).]

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR> send me flowers and a card and I'm hooked! <HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Yikes, i am not sure i want to go around hooking women until i know that i want to be serious. Its taking the hook out that hurts, or if you hook too many at once the line snaps and you've lost them all.<P>I think i will just go for the card. . . . <P>thanks<P>back to basketball<P>sportsguy

Supposedly different colored roses mean different things. White roses supposedly mean "I am worthy of you". We all know what red roses mean. <P>I might shy away from the flowers and chocolate thing. I like getting things that show someone has put thought into it. To me, flowers and chocolate are so...easy. Especially on Valentine's Day. The only time flowers had any impact on me at all is when it wasn't for anything particular, or he chose an arrangement that had special significance or forethought.<P>Why don't you make your own card? Trust me, it doesn't have to be a Monet or a fabulous work of art. Even a card with a picture on the front, with your own words composed. To me that is much better than anything store bought. My ex was almost in tears when I made him an anniversary card using POTATO ART! I carved roses into a potato, painted it, then stamped it on a card and composed a little poem for him. He was so proud of that card.

Oh my.... when I said I was hooked.... I didn't mean "HOOKED".... What I ment was it made me really happy. (I'm not <I>That</I> easilly impressed ) But friendly warm fuzzies are always nice.<P>Blushing B<BR>