Since Saturday when the STBX gave me her pathetic, I'm sorry it's too late speach. I have been blessed with all the old anger and resentment...Some of it is because I had to see that LRB in two meetings this weekend...The rest is pure abandonment and the repercusions there of...<P>I'm also kicking my own [censored] for allowing myself to wallow in complacency...I let things pile up and pile up and now find myself in the inenviable position of digging out...OH JOY!!!<P>Don't know why I'm posting this. Maybe because I need to get it out and also hoping some others here have found themselves in similar circumstances and wanting to know your experience in getting out of it...<P>I do know these feelings will pass and all will get back on track...Somedays the desperation can be overwhelming...<P>Thanks for letting me dump...<P>Love You All,<P>Bill

Well, I used to scream at God a lot. And I cried a lot. And I had a therapist who would let me call him afterhours in emergencies. And I had some really good therapy buddies - friends who had been through lousy ends to their marriages.<P>I also ate a lot of good chocolate ice cream. When I was really blue, I tried to be good to myself. And I found several passages in the Bible that talked about how angry God was with the people who derailed His vision for the Israelites and the rotten stuff that happened to those bad guys. And I realized that, because God gave us the gift of choice, He didn't always get His way, either.<P>Then I would do something else nice for myself - usually a creative thing that would last a while. <P>And, finally, I would snap out of it. But it took a while sometimes.<P>(((((((((((((((((((((Bill))))))))))))))))))))<P>Don't forget that you're a great guy - human but great - and that you have a lot of friends who care. You have my address if you need to use it. If you need my telephone number, let me know.

Bill,<P>Still sittin' on that pity pot, huh? <P>Did ya know that screaming makes you feel a little better? Just go in the bedroom or basement and scream as loud as you can for as long as you can!! Sure, your throat hurts a bit when you're done, but it does help! <P>You'll get thru this just as you have before.<P>((((((((((BILL))))))))))<P>Love ya,<BR>Mitzi <P>P.S. Maybe you could find another pumpkin to smash somewhere?? <p>[This message has been edited by Mitzi (edited February 05, 2001).]

Are you seeing a counselor who can prescribe?

Cinderella,<BR>My Prayer routine is one area that I got complacent in...I know I need to get back in tune with God again...Chocolate Ice Cream...hmmmm....I did buy myself a gift this weekend...A new leather coat...got a great deal!!<P>Mitzi,<BR>I'l go have myself a goon tantrum in the basement tonight!!<P>Sis,<BR>Not going back on the meds again, but I will be seeing my old councelor ASAP. I know that once I get back on my exercize schedule those good brain endorphins will get kicked back in...Thanks for the suggestion..<P>Bill

Now would be a good time to take part of your "collection" out to the woods someplace and take out some agression shooting at tin cans....I've always found target shooting a good release, although I haven't done it for a long time.<P>Hmmm, something new to ponder!

Jayhawk,<P>EXCELLENT IDEA!!!!

Bill,<BR>Talking to my minister friend did wonders for me. He made me realize that, while the anger is normal, it really does no good and therefore is a waste of time.<P>Hang in, it does get better. I even acknowledged the anti-bob on Sun at my son's soccer game. X has started bringing him in the past week. I was walking to get something to drink and they were sitting near the concession stand and as I was walking up, he was staring at me.<P>I wanted to say,"what the f%&^ are you looking at you piece of S%^% !" But instead I just nodded. He nodded back. X didn't see any of it.<P>Today when she dropped the kids off, I asked her for $40 for soccer, since I paid for the other session and she acted like I asked her to pay the national debt off. I better not hold my breath for this money. She hasn't even paid me for son's birthday back in Dec.<P>ANy way, hang in!<P>God Bless,<P>Bob