My son's school has high-priced fund raisers. Kim Carnes, remember the singer from the 80's, has a son there so she does a $75/ticket concert each year. a progressive dinner last spring went for $125/ticket. Well, their biggest fund raiser is a silent auction and dinner/dance. Tickets are less, $50 each. <P>But it's cocktail attire. Now, considering my budget and my clothing needs, this is a challenge. But I took my two clothing possibilities to my son's best friends house yesterday for assessment. The red dress, cut low on top and high below, got the yes vote from both the mom and the DAD! And it matches my new nail polish. Have some real pearls. Have some vintage rhinestone jewelry. But how passe are short dresses. <P>(We're not talking rednecks - these people are doctors and accountants and attorneys. I certainly don't want to look like a tramp. But the dress did get two thumbs up.) <P>Since I don't have to buy a new dress or shoes, I think I can afford the ticket. <P>I'm sure the person doing the seating assignments just loves for single people to come. Who knows.

Hey, a thought, when you buy your ticket, ask the seater assigner to seat you next to a single male, ie., not married, so s/he doesn't get confused and sit you next to married person whose spouse couldn't make it.<BR> <P>you never know to whom you will sit beside or be introduced. Always take advantage of any opportunities to make it advantageous to any future opportunities.<P>good luck,<BR>you'll do just fine!<P>tom<BR>

<construction worker whistle><P>Sounds like it could be an enjoyable evening Princess...Have fun!!<P>Bill

Cinderella,<P>also think of it as a possibility to contact someone you meet, AFTER the dinner, about job openings, so just keep that in mind.<P>So be friendly, make acquaintenances, and if you get deep into conversation, find out where the other person works, and contact him with a letter afterwards if the person works in an acceptable company. . . .<P>always keep those feelers out there. that is if you aren't interested in him romantically, or he is married.<P>tom<BR>

Tom, you sly dog. I must be the slowest or most innocent woman in town. It would never have occurred to me to ask the seating chairman to put me at the table with a single man. I was clueles on that one.<P>Only problem is, considering the look on my friend's husband's face when he saw me in the dress, I don't know if the fellow I might be by would notice what much about what I say.<P><p>[This message has been edited by cinderella (edited February 06, 2001).]

Cinderella,<P>you need to be prepared for anything, as the old ship captain in me says, you never know who you will meet, and take every opportunity to make your best impression.<P>now as a ship captain aboard an oil tanker full of men, don't ask me who I was making my best impression on! usually it was an unknown ship rounding the corner, so it was more of a safety/politeness impression than anything else.<P>good luck, you'll do just fine!<P>sWIFTTy

Well, I've written that check and have it in the envelope with my reservation card. On the back we were to make any pertinent notes about seating. I told them that, if they had a single man attending alone, it might be nice if I were seated at the same table. And I told them that should Mr. and Mrs. Doofus attend, I didn't want to be at their table as I am divorced from Mr. Doofus.<P>I'm really in a wad over wearing this red dress. One thing is for sure. I'll probably get talked about by the prudes. At a meeting yesterday I heard a description of the dress code for women at this function. Black dress and pearls. Can they handle low-cut, red, and short? One of the organizers is wearing silk slacks. What if I look like a floozy?<P>Can you tell my lack of self-confidence is showing?<P>

Cinderella,<P>the man sitting next to you will notice you whether or not you are dressed like a floozy!<P>Dress appropriate for the event, conservative is always the best, with a touch of excitement, not FILLED with excitement.<P>If you are in doubt, don't wear it, but hey, there's not much choice in men's wear, so how the hell do I know what I'm talking about!<P>you have to be comfortable with yourself while you are there, and if it isn't appropriate, you will not be starting off with a boost of confidence, dress so that it maximizes your confidence.<P>Remember, dresses can change, impressions are harder to change, and confidence is even harder to change.<P>you will do just fine,<BR>just don't tell him any of our hot tub<BR>stories that we can't mention here!<BR>i wonder who the lucky guy will be?<BR>maybe a rich princely type who is looking<BR>for a pair of glass slippers?<P>WIFTTy

Hey, the alternative is the same old black dress I wear everywhere.<P>And the dress is merely the package (and it looks great on me). But the gift wrap matters a little bit, doesn't it?<P>The behavior says more. Or, does it?<P>Maybe I should send Butterfly a picture, let her post it, then let people vote.<P>

Our school has similar fundraisers. I ran the one last year, and we had singles of both sexes (many were not single-single, but spouse could not come, others were truly single). It didn't bother us a bit to have some singles to seat, and I think they all had a great time. I do know one pair that ended up dating afterwards...<P>Go and have fun!

Last night I tried on both dresses. Daughter, who is 10, saw me in the red dress and said "That's not the mama I know." Then she saw me in the black dress and said she preferred that one because it looked more like me. <BR>I will say that I have some killer wine velvet shoes to wear with the black dress but my heart's just not into that right now. We're talking about the difference between looking like the other mothers and embracing your individuality. <P>So, the quandry continues. Thank goodness for "liposuction pantyhose!"

Hi, never mind the pantyhose for the celulite. Go for a long-line one piece bra and girdle. I am also going alone to a silent auction dinner dance to benefit our son's school. There are other moms whose husbands can't or don't want to go. We are each other's "dates". <P><BR>One really fun woman's husband got tickets to a football game tomorrow night for his son and son's friend to celebrate son's birthday. She's giving me his dinner/dance ticket.<P>Coincidentally my H bought tickets for the same game because I asked H whether he would hate to go and he said yes. (He doesn't dance and the way our marriage is right now I don't want him to feel forced to hold me.) An elderly friend suggested I rent a fancy prom dress or bridesmades dress from one of the places around here. I don't have anything but "Polish widow" dresses in my closet (two of them) or pants. <P>Took a girlfriend with me to the shop. Rented 2nd dress I tried on. Budget was primary consideration - lowest dress in the shop. Got a black, stretchy mini dress with off-the shoulder top, decorated with black fur on neckline and sleeves. Of course, pot belly sticks out. So off to the store to buy a one-piece like I suggested for you. <P>My girlfriend was disappointed that I wasn't interested in looking and trying on more. My tolerance limit is 10 minutes or 3 try-ons. I got the foundation garment in 10 mins also, first and only one I tried on. <BR> <BR>The stag moms will all be busy running with bids, messages and auction items, so being without a date won't be a problem. Maybe that will give the chairladies a chance to relax with their families after months of hard work.<P> The stag moms even joked about doing the polka with each other. You know, like the Polish widows at a wedding, all the old ladies dance with each other. I hope I can find someone who can lead!<P>I hope you have a great time, whatever dress you wear. <P>------------------<BR>Belle, Domestic Goddess<p>[This message has been edited by Bellevue (edited February 09, 2001).]

Well, I went to a consignment shop. Not much rental that I know of in Nashville. But everything was 1/2 price. <P>Found the dress. If the bash were a couple of weeks later, it wouldn't work but I'm ready for next winter.<P>Black velvet. Princess seams and when it gets to the waist it flares quite flirtily. The bodice, above where your shoulders meet your arms, is sheer as are the sleeves. and it has wide black velvet cuffs with rhinestone buttons. <P>I'll wear my hair up. I have some vintage rhinestone earrings only they're set in silver where the buttons on the sleeves are set in gold. So I may have to replace those buttons.<P>If nothing else, I'll feel like the belle of the ball in my $25 dress. Fits like it was made for me. <P>I wonder if I should wear my Cinderella crown. They need to know I am a princess. I shall certainly look like one.<P><BR>

Sounds perfect!<P>I'd pass on the crown tho...no sense in showing off <B> too</B> much!<BR>

Well, I didn't want to look like another mother there in black.<P>Thought the crown would make me stand out in the crowd.

My friends who know about these thing have voted. They rule the black dress too conservative. The red dress is their recommendation. And this is both a man and a woman.<P>And the two dresses call for different attitudes. My children don't like the red dress. They think it has to be the black one. I think that's because they've never seen me go anywhere in anything that looks like the red dress. It just doesn't look like a mom! <P>And since I told them thatI would be willint to sit at the table with a single man should one attend alone, I know the red dress would not go unnoticed. And I'd have a whole different attitude in that red dress. <P>So should I go looking elegant or sexy?<BR>

Cinderella,<P>trust your friends as long as you think they are knowledgable, objective and supportive. <P><B> go with the red dress. </B><P>your kids don't have the wide range of viewpoints and understand your intentions, they aren't used to seeing you dressed up.<P><B> go with the red dress. </B><P>The black dress will get noticed by the nice gentleman at your table, the red dress will get noticed by everybody, making your odds slightly better in your favor, <P><B> go with the red dress. </B><P>and have fun!!<P>tom<p>[This message has been edited by WhenIfindthetime (edited February 12, 2001).]

Tom, thank you. I concur. <P>And it's not the dress that will get noticed. It's the cleavage. <P>I'll be the hottest looking single woman there.<P>Just need lipstick and my hair up right.<P>Now that we have resolved the dress issue. Shall I dig out the diamond necklace and earrings or the pearls? Or the vintage rhinestones?

What about elegant AND sexy? The two are not mutually exclusive. I would go with red too - you are right, most of the women will be in black. <P>I vote for the diamonds.

Since you all say the crown has to be left at home, I think the diamonds are a good choice too.<P>By the way, I have the perfect coat if it's cold enough for one. Black wool, trimmed in black velvet, covered buttons and rhinestone buttons. Belong to one of my aunts and I have no idea how old it is. I'm guessing the 50's.