This was the big weekend. I am thoroughly exhausted, emotionally and physically. I am pretty proud of myself. In some of my posts I've told of my husband's lack of emotion about this whole thing. Well what I haven't seen in the 13yrs. I been with this man, he has shown in the past three days. Did he not think I would really move out and on? Ever since I found out about the affair and told him that we could rebuild our marriage and I could forgive him, he basically said and thought that he was better off with the OW and I would be better off finding someone else. I guess reality has hit him and hit him hard. There was of course tears on my part, most of which he didn't see. My family and friends helped me move and he stayed away. On the last trip he asked me if mabey we could talk. He was apologetic and remorseful, he said that he felt like telling me to not go and he'd move all of my stuff back. He told me that I was the best person he ever met and that I have always stood by him, and he has made the biggest mistake of his life. Yesterday I stayed home from work, he called me and brought me lunch and then dinner. When he came by at lunch and saw, for the first time, my new place (my new life), he was reduced to tears. I still love him and my prayers have always been for the restoration of my marriage. Am I being weak? I don't have much of a history due to the fact I have been with him for 13yrs and I am 32. My prior relationship was abusive and I took it for way too long. This experience has left me shell shocked but I am proud of myself for each step I take. Is his reaction due to the fact that he sees the empty house, the house that I made a home and is now just a shell? I know that he is thinking that this is the "reaping" ie., his business, health, friendships, and countless other aspects of his life have suffered. He also admitted to me that he is realizing the pain and suffering he has put me through. I just don't know where to go from here. I know it will take work, but I am willing if he is.<BR>

Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. Workshop. <BR> <A HREF="http://www.pairs.com" TARGET=_blank>www.pairs.com</A> <A HREF="http://www.retrouvaille.org" TARGET=_blank>www.retrouvaille.org</A> or anything else you two can find, preferably with counseling aftercare. <P>I <I>knew</I> all that stuff was in there! (in him). Now the question is whether you two have what it takes to put it back together. I'm glad to see that your moving out has had some defogging effect. Now for the tough part...

Sounds like things are looking up all the way around. No, you're not being weak. It takes guts to move out, and it takes guts to face the prospect of the work of reconciliation.<P>You and your husband needs to know two things. First, you want reconciliation and it <I>will</I> happen if he puts in the effort. Second, it will take effort on <I>your</I> part too, and it is going to take quite a bit of time to rebuild trust and intimacy.<P>In other words, you need to give him hope, but you can't let him off easy (or he will just take you for granted again).<BR>