Well. I finally had a brief talk with the wife last night. Here's the jest.<P>Friday night I am to pick up my D from school take her to my house and get her school unifrom changed out, and take her back to school for a valintine party from 6:30Pm-11Pm.. At 7Pm the wife will come over to my house so we can talk. We will have dinner delivered. and we talk about the situation. <P>I said I assume you have not signed any papers. She said no, not yet. She wants to talk about it. At 11Pm she will go pick the kid up from the party and take her to her house. <P>

Would it be possible to have someone you both trust be present there as mediator? Or even a pro?<P>If you've had problems before, chances are you will have problems now, regardless of both your intentions. Why let that continue to happen?

Tex,<P>I think this sounds mildly encouraging. I agree with Sisyphus' suggestion, if there is such a person--for example a good friend who knows you both or a minister whom you both trust--anyone who could help you two stay on track with your discussion and not wind down into fruitless complaining, diverting, blocking, denying and blaming. It could also be helpful just to have the "objective third ear" there to help with unreal expectations and such.<P>If it is not possible to have someone else there with you to help mediate, I would say that the first thing you two discuss and agree on is that you will only talk about one issue at a time. As you know, my H and I are also talking again, and I feel as if there are a thousand issues that we have to work out; however, they can not all be worked out in one night at one sitting. Start with one and work only on that one--do not get side tracked. (FYI, my H and I started with do we want to work it out or not? This is bigger than it first seems, because you have to honestly ask yourself, "Am I willing to risk with this person again?" and "Am I willing to do the work that may be needed to fix this?" Then, if both parties are willing to work on it, what are the "requirements" that each party has to reconnect.) <P>Well, Tex, you'll certainly be in my thoughts and prayers. Anything I can do to help, you know where to reach me!<P>{{{{{Tex}}}}}<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Mediation -- good point.<P>Have notepads and pencils/pens for each of you. <P>One person talk....the other take notes/no talking.<BR>Then the writer tells the other person what they just said --- and any misunderstandings get cleared up.<P>Switch places and repeat.<P>That done, you can then begin talking about the real issues. One at a time. Using a similiar format.<P>Even if you are only airing differences and not reaching any decisions, at least you'll be communicating and making some progress in that area.<P>Good luck,<BR>~Amy