Have you heard about that guy?<P>He kept hitting himself in the head with a hammer. Someone finally came along and asked him why he was doing it. He said, "Because it feels so good when I stop!"<P>That is pretty much the way I feel now. After almost a year and a half, I have stopped with the hammer. No more why's or if I had only done, or not done, or whatever.<P>Also the realization (some may call it rationalization) that when we were together things were not so peachy. I don't have to worry about her drug use, her affairs, her irresponsible spending, her ignoring the kids (well this one still), no housework ever done, etc, etc, etc.<P>I am to the point that I can close this portion of my life. I did the best I could. Even after all that we went through, I was willing to work on the relationship. However, with no work from her, it became meaningless.<P>Here's to today, the first day of the rest of my life...

I wish I could get there.

Cheers! <P>I'll toast one to you tonight

Brian,<BR>It sounds like you are healing!<P>I am there too.<P>Bob