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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1 |
I am having problems with my husband. We never go out, I cant have any friends in real life so I have come to depend on th internet for human contact, and now my husband thinks that I am screwing around on him via the net and says that it has to "go away for a while". I can't take him trying to control my entire life like this I don;t have anyone other than him my whole family is 1500 miles away I am just not allowed to have friends I am totally trapped.I am bearly even allowed to leave the house. I understand that he is my husband and I understand that he has some cntrol over my life but my god I need somthing of my own I need some freedom from him. Any help?
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Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 15
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 1999
Posts: 15 |
May I suggest to review the emotional needs that you both have, and to review the Policy of Joint Agreement. This site has lots of good information, and if that's not enough then there are also books to read.<p>There is an unhealthy amount of control in your husband's behavior. Sounds like insecurity. Maybe his needs are not being met. Can you talk to him about it?<p>One other thing. I have seen marriages where one spouse has little contact outside the marriage (by choice) and this has a detrimental effect because this spouse is bringing little to the relationship. Know what I mean? You need to be individuals with interests outside of each other. Makes things more interesting for you both.<p>He must learn to trust you!
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Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075
Member
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Member
Joined: Oct 1998
Posts: 2,075 |
KMG, I'm not sure where you're from, but in the USA a husband does not own his wife. He is your husband, but that does not entitle him to "control" your life. Marriage is a shared life - neither spouse should control the other.<p>I'm not sure what advice to give you - can you talk to him about the control issue? I would imagine not. Why doesn't he allow you to have friends? Is he afraid you will cheat on him in real life?<p>terri
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Anonymous
Unregistered
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Tell him that he may lose you if he doesn't control you but if he keeps controlling you like this he will definetly lose you. Period. He is driving you out the door. Tell him either he trusts in your love for him or you walk simple. there is no place for controlling behavior. It does not help anything it justs hurts the marriage.
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Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2003
Posts: 1 |
let me tell you a little more about this, he is 50 and I am 19 yes he thinkss that I am going to cheat on him accually he said that he wuldnt be supised if he came home from work one day and I was gone. We live in Oklahoma,BTW. I have told him time and time again that he has no control over what I do I am going to do what I want to do regardless of what he says. I do love him I just don't love his behavior, I am gettng to the point of just giving up on this becauseI dont know what to do......
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