I have so many insecurities!!!! I plan on overcoming them. It's like Petrie your 32yrs. old when are you going to feel confortable with yourself. I was on the road to "wellness", then my husband turned to another. I am learning to not put my self worth in another person. All this to say; are my posts just a bunch of woe's me, cry baby stuff??? This forum helps me so much, yet I feel that I don't get quite the replies as others, and it seems like so many of you have such great friendships with others on the forum. I just read back this post, and man am I a cry baby. I still want to throw it out there because I want to be honest with my feelings. Some words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated!!!!

DEAR REJECTED, I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING. I HAVE A FEW TIMES WATCHED MY POST WITH THE "0" REPLY GO DOWN THE COLUMN, WHILE OTHERS GET MANY ANSWERS. ON A POSITIVE NOTE, THERE ARE A FEW KIND SOULS THAT ANSWER WITH GREAT ADVICE AND I LEARN ALOT JUST BY READING OTHER POSTS. <P>REMEMBER, IT IS HUMAN NATURE FOR GROUPS TO BE A LITTLE "CLIQUEY". DON'T TAKE IT PERSONAL! ALSO, YOU ARE NOT A CRYBABY. IF SOMETHING IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, IT IS IMPORTANT!!! REGARDLESS OF HOW IT APPEARS OR IS ANSWERED BY OTHERS. HOPE THIS HELPS! GOOD LUCK, T.J.

No, I don't think your posts are just crybaby stuff. But, I often do not reply to them bcs I find them a bit confusing with lots of details thrown together & hard to know what your are asking. Maybe it is just me???<P>You might get more response by being a bit briefer and breaking up into paragraphs.<P>I do think that people tend to respond when they feel they ave something constructive to add, and not to reply when they are unsure how to be of help...<P>Good luck!

Thank you kam6318 for the constructive advise. In my effort to explain myself, I end up being more confusing. Just like everyone else, I want people to know a little about my marriage and what ultimately took place, so they can understand. As I read more and more from this forum, it looks like everyone already does understand & so many of us are in the same boat. Thanks again (to Tom Jones too), I will try to get to the point in my future posts!!<BR> <BR>

I'm sorry that you are feeling rejected. That is the last thing you should feel on this site. How long have you been posting? I have been posting for about a year and I'm already divorced so that puts me in a different category than so many others. Plus, from posting that long, I have become friends with so many people. Maybe it is just a matter of time or the subject matter. If people currently posting are at a different place than you, they may not reply or know what to say.<P>I hope that you start getting more responses. I know that it really helps to hear from others. As people respond to your posts, reply back as soon as you can, so it brings the post back up to the top for more people to see.<P>

Hey, Rejected! <P>I want to let you in on a little secret--it's nothing personal. My H left in Feb., I have been hanging on this forum since Aug., and now the hubby and I are talking about reconciling. However, since I've been here for a while, I have written and written and written to people, all at the same time trying to deal with my own problems and sorrows. To be honest, sometimes, it's too overwhelming to respond to everyone who needs me to write to them. I hope you hear the message I'm telling you--and Tom Jones too--it's not because we dont' "like" you or you're not in our "clique". Usually I haven't written because I can only take so much myself. Rumor has it that I'm human!<P>Anyway, to answer your question, "NO. You do not sound like a lot of woe is me, cry baby stuff." BTW, I like that description--it's kind of funny. No, Rejected, we have all felt the exact same way that you feel. To be honest that may be part of the reason we don't write too. We are just starting to get back on our feet, and it is SO HARD to get there that we hate to feel all that pain and stuff again. But back on topic. The beauty of this forum, and the reason it's not really (but sort of) a clique, is that we can literally all say that we know how you feel. We have all been there. We have all felt totally blown over and lost. So there is a lot of understanding and support here--especially when you THINK you're acting pretty crazy. It can be really helpful to learn that although you FEEL crazy, your actions are really quite normal.<P>So, chin up, little buckaroo! <P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Thanks faithful wife!<BR>Today of all days I'm feeling very low, and the tears are starting to flow again. My family and friends are very supportive, yet I don't want to become a nuisance. So I keep alot to myself and cry by myself. This forum is a great way to express my sadness not to receive pity, but to open up with those in the same boat. <P>Thank you for telling me I am not crazy. I guess what I want to hear is that I will be happy again. <BR>

Well, REJECTED, if you’re a crybaby, then I reckon the rest of us are too. I think you’re doing everything right. I too have a lot of very supportive family and friends, but like you I prefer to cry alone. Allow yourself the emotions, allow yourself time, and keep doing what you know you need to do.<P>And as far as lack of response on this forum is concerned, timing is yet another factor. I doubt any of us are monitoring the forum full time, and sometimes you just hit a lull. Or, you can get drowned out by a burst of other messages. Just be patient, and if you don’t get a response just try again another time.<BR>

Rejected,<P>You make me laugh--no, I mean it. When my H left, I was in shock for about three days. Then suddenly, I started to cry, and I cried for three days straight, night and day, 24 hours a day. He COULD NOT understand why I was "flipping out" like that, and naturally he used that as his proof that I was crazy, but at the time, it was like I got hit with years worth of hurt in three days! Then, for a while, I would cry a couple of times a day and a couple of times at night for no apparent reason (like if a song came on or something), and that lasted for a few months. Then, it got down to crying at night, because for me that was always the loneliest time--at least during the day you can distract yourself with work and kids, etc. Now, it has been a year, and I cry now and then, and I would have to say that there are times when I am happy too. <P>One thing that was kind of unusual was to learn how to be happy by myself. I mean, of course we are all responsible for our own emotions, blah-blah-blah, but what I mean is to do things for myself by myself that I enjoy that make me happy. I kept thinking, "I'm a grown woman--I can't do that" or "I'm too embarrassed to do that" (you get the drift), but after I overcame that objection in my mind and just did it, I started to feel joy in my life again. Here's a silly example: grape juice. I love grape juice, but we never bought it for probably 12 years because "if you spill it, you'll stain forever". Well, I like grape juice, and I always have, so I started to buy myself a grape juice now and then when I feel like a little celebration. At first, my head said, "Oh, you can't do that. You will stain your work clothes," but I did it anyway, and I have not spilled a drop yet--and if I do, it was WORTH IT!! <P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Rejected}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>It's wierd, I know, but you will feel happy again. Just, in the back of your head, keep reminding yourself that you have to get through this painful, icky part to get to the happy part on the other side. Okay?<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.