delete<p>[This message has been edited by Trying to move on (edited March 07, 2001).]

{{{{{{{trying}}}}}}}}<P>I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better. My OW never went away. Matter of fact, she just got a ring from my exH. Just want to tell you I am thinking of you and wishing for the best for you.<BR>Hugs, Dana<BR>

Although my H & I are in successful recovery, the former OW still attempts to reinitiate another affair with my H. She has been trying sporadically for over a 2 year period! Their affair was brief...7 weeks, and this barfly slut can't get her own life and leave ours alone!<P>Does anyone have a giant Barfly-swatter around here??!!!<P>p.s. Some of these OP really have a lot of screws loose!

Hi,<P>Did he tell her to crawl back under her rock?<P>------------------<P>Kathy<p>[This message has been edited by weirded out (edited February 10, 2001).]

delete<p>[This message has been edited by Trying to move on (edited March 07, 2001).]

Hi TTMO,<P>WOW! She's just a retarded woman who never understand what she did.<BR>Well whey does she think if she get divorce then she will be able to tell your H what he did to her? And what will come out of it?<P>If she keeps bugging you two consider getting a restraining order and if that won'd end consider moving..<P>Good luck and at least your H is out of the fog and I'm very happy for you .<P>Meg

Hi Trying!<P>Yes, former OW tried again, as recently as 2 weeks ago and after over a year of not hearing from her.<P>She just can't seem to get my H out of her head! She seems to be a VERY needy person and my H said that she comes from an abusive background. My H was nice to her and she wasn't use to being treated nice! She considers my H, her knight in shining armour!<P>Her 1st failed attempt was 9 months after he dumped her (he sent her No Contact letter). 2nd failed attempt was after 1+ years from the last time. He sent her another No Contact letter, even more harsh than the last. For 2 years, she has been sporadically attempting to reinitiate another Affair. Isn't that sick? There is definitely something mentally wrong with her!<P>My H wonders if she will try again, another year from now! Now that his fogged up polluted mind is clear & sober (he is a recovering alcoholic & was usually drunk when he saw her...she drinks a lot too), he regrets ever being with her and refers to her as a piece of no-good trash. He is still horrified for what he did and is so ashamed for his past behavior.<P>The big joke was when I wrote her a nasty letter, putting her in her place and telling her to "Get a Life!" (after her first failed attempt). She wrote back (even though I told her to never contact us again) and said that she had already moved on with her life and that we wouldn't be hearing from her ever again.<P>Such denial! She can't even stick to what she says she's going to do. I'm getting sick & tired of her attempts.<P>Gee Whiz....I would love to do something to her, but it wouldn't be legal!<P>I'm glad that your H sees his affair for what it was....a cheap affair with a needy home-wrecker floozy!

TTMO,<P>I am in the same boat with Dana. Only my exH has already married his little homewrecker. It's absolutely amazing to me how these OW (and OM) can face their reflections in the mirror everyday. Oh, well. There's not much I can do about it now. Just be prepared. Some of them never go away.<P><P>------------------<BR>Blessed be.<BR>****************<BR>Keridwen<P>Keridwen_7@yahoo.com

delete<p>[This message has been edited by opposite shoes (edited February 19, 2001).]

Opposite Shoes: If you really want to do something honorable, just leave TTMO & her H alone. Stay out of their marriage! STOP invading it! If her H pages you, contacts you...have the strength to NOT make any contact at all. Move on and Stay out of their lives!<P>Geez...the world is already complicated enough...their marriage already has enough problems...don't add to it!<P>p.s. You can't control what TTMO's H does, you can't control TTMO...BUT, you can control yourself! Now, do the right thing and Move on!!!<p>[This message has been edited by Survivor [aka_NoTrust] (edited February 12, 2001).]

Trying,<P>This person will not rest til your childen are in therapy. This person will not rest until she destroys what's rightfully yours under God's laws. This person will not rest til you are all on welfare (where a big many single MOMS end up trying desperately to care for their children alone)! She just had to pop in here didn't she. She just had to throw in another drop of poison in her desperate attempt to destroy your relationship with your husband. Trying, I wonder if this is really ever going to be a safe place for you to find support afterall, considering the other people involved keep lurking and spying. If he did page her, that is something between you and him to deal with and she should have not responded, and hopefully she has learned that if there is a next time.<P>Opposite - Survivor said it best. Move on. Quit hoping to poison one or both of them enough to destroy the family. You don't belong there, no matter how you "feel". People who live their lives by their feelings are the most destructive to themselves. There is more to life than feelings. There is character, morality, right and wrong, honor, truth, integrity - all of which are usually thrown out the window by "feelings". There's an awful lot of people sitting in prison because they acted on how they "felt" at one given moment. If your father is truly a minister, I know you have had to learn something and maybe he's the one you should talk to - not G.<P>------------------<P>Kathy<p>[This message has been edited by weirded out (edited February 13, 2001).]

The OW in my case also popped up on this forum a few weeks ago--she knows my screen name, I know hers. But I kept quiet and didn't reveal her, as angry as I was. She wrote up this sickeningly sweet monologue of how she KNOWS that what she is doing wrong, she KNOWS she is hurting people, she KNOWS that my husband does still love me, that there will never be a future in their relationship, (she doubts very much that he really loves her but is using her) but she still CAN'T walk away. Such a tragic creature. She also went on to say that she was really a nice person, not the boogie man who is just out to steal a man in a competitive game. She says that she too cares about marriage and family. But she says that she is desperately in love and that justifies what she is doing.<P>NICE PERSON?!!! Please!!<P>If you could see some of the wretched, disgusting garbage and filth that she wrote to my husband, stringing him along with her sexuality. If you could see how she just up and left her own family and barge into mine, you would really think "nice person."<P>It was a year ago, almost, that she and I had our first little talk, and she agreed to go away, fussing about how she didn't want to get in between he and I. It's been a year, folks, and she still doesn't get the concept. There is something wrong in that little head of hers--what I don't know.<P>Talking about heads--when a man is thinking with his small one instead of his larger one--yeah, I guess he is going to keep going back to the person he can talk to best using his small head. Because when a man has committed adultery and almost destroyed his family, it is easier to not use his larger head. Too full of guilt and pain--let's just sweep it under the rug and forget about it, shall we? Hence, the pages and the e-mails to his little friend--who is desperately "in love" with him.<P>Wake up, OW!! The "game" will not end until you take the initiative to end it. Be a grown up instead of a whiny child. Be a real woman, not a little girl playing dress-up and 'house.' This is not a game. It ruins the lives of children that we have been entrusted by God to care for. <P>YOU are the one who can end it. MOVE and CHANGE your phone number. Go to new territory. If you are so sexy, find a man who is free and mess with him--there are plenty out there. If you are the nice person you say you are, then you will find one and he will treat you like a goddess. IF, that is. I strongly suspect that you are not and you need to learn how to be "a nice person" so that you can heal your life.<P>

<BR>Delete<BR><p>[This message has been edited by Trying to move on (edited February 14, 2001).]

delete<BR><p>[This message has been edited by opposite shoes (edited February 19, 2001).]

OP,<P>Why would you write what you just wrote to TTMO? YOu are one very sick person, you need help. Get out of these peoples lives. get your own.<P>I pray that you can find peace & strenght to move on in your live.

Opposite Shoes: If you have been reading any of the principles of Marriage Builders, then you will understand the reason for TTMO's H's behavior. What he had been displaying to you, is called WITHDRAWAL. Plain and simple WITHDRAWAL. Withdrawal doesn't necessarily mean that he is in love with you or whatever...who knows if he really is. The fact is that he is in love with the addiction! An addict will do whatever harm to himself, to his family, to his friends to feed his addiction!<P>As Sing asked in her post above mine...why did you post what you posted? It really was unnecessary to be analyzing her H's behavior. You can't even figure out why you act the way you do!<P>NOW! MOVE ON!!!

Boy, touche! That was extremly cruel, OW. Are you working overtime to put conflict between this husband and wife by listing his crimes? What does it profit you? That is entirely childish. If you were a lady, you would admit to yourself that you have no right to ruin this family and you would walk away, no matter what he said to you.<P>Why are you putting the blame on him? I thought you "loved" him! A person who loves another doesn't point fingers at him, how 'bout that? Doesn't it take two to tango? Do you think that he would be ringing your doorbell if you turned him away? All he is doing is feeding an addiction and you are just the drug. Accept that.<P>Think of someone besides yourself--no, don't just think, act. This guy has children that he has to raise who also need their mother. Don't play your part in destroying this family.<P>PS--I kinda wish you didn't use the "God Bless" thing when addressing this family. It's hypocritical. You may be a child of God, but that doesn't mean that He condones what you are doing. God expects us to be unselfish and kind to one another--He asks us to "bless" one another with respect and love--that is our mission in this life. You, my friend, are not doing that. Do what God expects you to. He forgives sin, but He also asks us to abandon our sinful ways. Adultery is a sin that is a mockery of Christ's atonement and you are crucifying Him afresh if you continue persuing this relationship.<p>[This message has been edited by Bernzini (edited February 15, 2001).]

delete<p>[This message has been edited by opposite shoes (edited February 19, 2001).]

Opposite shoes,<P>Just a few points here<P># 1 - He is not <B> your </B> anything. <B>He is TTMO's h. </B> He made vows to her openly before God and man. What he had with you was an adulterous extra marital affair. Nothing more, nothing less. <P># 2 - I personally find it outrageous that you come here and not only read TTMO's posts, but that you have the ya ya's to post in her threads. IMHO you have invaded her marriage, then you find out she is posting here so what do you do ? You invade the place where she should be able to talk about what she is going through, to vent, and now she knows she can no longer do this because you are here reading her every word.<P># 3 - My h's first ow was like you, young having no idea or real concern for the pain she helped cause. ( I know you say you do care, but the fact that you keep re-opening the wounds shows you care only for your own pain, which is 100 % self inflicted. If you hadn't taken up with a married man, (which you knew was wrong) you wouldn't be in pain.<BR>Never forget that when you sow the wind you reap the whirl wind. Will God forgive you ? Sure He will. But even though we are forgiven there are still conciquences for our actions.

Opposite Shoes:<P>First of all, TTMO's H is NOT your MM. He is NOT your anything! If you think that he is, then go to gloryb.com and post over there at TOW's forum. They seem to think that they own other people's husbands or wives.<P>You think that you owe TTMO something? I'll tell you what you owe her. STAY OUT OF HER LIFE! That's what you owe her. MOVE ON and DON'T LOOK BACK!<P>Deb is right. Your pain is self-inflicted. You can control your actions. Now do the right thing!