Yeah, OK, you might feel bad and be stressed out and depressed--but that doesn't equal being repentant. That equates guilt and self-pity.<P>As I see it, you are still getting your jabs in.<P>Think about this--if TTMO wanted to know the whole truth (of course she should) don't you think that it would be more meaningful and healing to hear it from her husband, the man who vowed to be her best friend for life? What do you have to do with it? Why should you be the one who is the informant--you are the enemy in this marriage (sorry if that sounds harsh, but that's the way it is.)<P>Also, TTMO does not need to hear how much her husband "loved" you. What does that do for her? What you are doing is still playing king of the hill and you are trying to keep your foot on territory that is not yours by coming back to this again and again.<P>My husband, when I found out about Miss Kitty, The Chihuaua Woman, came home from work in the middle of the day with a face as white as a sheet and stood there with affirmations that he did love me far more than he ever loved her. (He has told me this several times, then and now, even while in the heat of an arguement.)I was his wife, the mother of his son. We had five years together as husband and wife, and lots of good memories. He told me that I was an honorable and strong woman.<P>Then I saw the e-mails to Miss Kitty, saying that he was "falling in love with her" "wanted to center his life around her" "if there was someone that he could spend his life with, it would be her." Why would that be? She was ten years older than him, was married, hated children, and seemed to be Martha Stewart's clone. (My husband is a confirmed slob and has no interest in home and garden.) If I freed him, I am sure that it would last about 2 weeks at the very most.<P>It kills me to think of this--that he says he wants me, loves me, but he "loved" her. (Because she told him what he wanted to hear and she sucked his ----.) This is the last thing on earth that I wanted to know. So I am wondering, Opposite Shoes, why in the world it would benefit the wife of your affair partner to know that he "loved" you? Do you think this heals a marriage? Are you trying to further damage this marriage, or are you honestly trying to back off and hope that the husband and wife reconcile at least for the sake of their little ones? If not, you should be.<P>I highly doubt that he loved you. What it is called is obsession, infatuation, fantasy, and sometimes even lust. Do you honestly think that he would have abandoned his family for you? Just something for you to think about. Sorry to burst your bubble.

OP,<P> You are a nasty person. It is obvious that you are here just to hurt someone else's Wife. Why don't you go post on some cheaters board. Maybe you can get some support there.<BR>Go Away<P>

No, don't go away. . .<P>We are here to offer support and healing for you, too. But we are not here to support your behavior or your attitude. You need to anknowledge the wrongs that you have done, try to reverse the pain you have caused by apology, to leave this man to his family, and abandon this lifestyle.<P>As mean as I sound, I understand the way you are thinking. I was in your shoes once, a long time ago. The man I was involved with was not married and we did not have sex, but I left my husband for him. I cannot believe my thought processes at the time. I was truly crazy. I feel that my 2nd husband's affair was a completion of the lesson's that I needed to learn. I understand now what I myself did. I will always pay for my crimes, but I feel that I have been forgiven. I have forgiven myself, my children from my first marriage are very close to me, and I feel that Heavenly Father has accepted my repentance. But this took years and a lot of heartache.<P>You will be forgiven, too. And someday, you will look back and understand what took place. You will laugh at how silly you were. Trust me. This forum is support for you. But you need to abandon this fantasy relationship and try to heal what you have broken.<P>I would suggest that, after you commit to leaving this family be to reconstruct, you change your screen name and come back to us here. There is a wealth of information here and good people who know what they are talking about.<P>But do what I said first. Leave TTMO alone. Stay away from her husband. Don't not take his calls. And move ahead.<BR>