It looks like the emotion my husband expressed the other weekend was just because he felt a little quilty. He'll call me up and vents & is basically mean (which I now know stems from the fact that the other woman will not take him back), then shortly thereafter will call back to apologize.<P>He was supposed to give me $ for the initial move out, I haven't seen a dime. He says he's broke. Yet, he showers the OW with gifts. She feels that he is trying to buy her and her son (per my ph conversation with her). He expressed to me last weekend that he doesn't expect me to wait for him, but he wants to take this time to "figure things out". It is obvious that he knows that I still love him (thus the sure thing), so if the OW will definately not take him back-- Petrie will still be there, Just like always.<P>I am really consumed with anger. It is just part of the aweful process, Sadness was my overwhelming emotion- In comes anger. <BR>

Rejected,<P>mine comes in the form of frustration, some could label it anger, i label it frustration.<P>It takes acknowledgement of the mistake and forgiveness of the self to release the anger (and frustration).<P>But I suppose it will be 10 years before I will get beyond my frustration with the X for how she parents the kids.<P>it will lessen over time, but your love will dwindle slowly with continued hurt from the WS.<P>WIFTTy

Rejected,<P>I don't know if you ever read around on one of the other threads, but in the midst of the worst of our fighting and living apart and hurting each other, I slapped my H--hard across the face. Okay, so we're not all perfect (haha) <P>Anyway, looking back on it now, I feel quite embarrassed, but what happened is that it started off as a disagreement/misunderstanding about something relatively small, and grew into an explosion. For my own good, I started attending anger management classes and a support group, and I learned something VERY important. Women, and sometimes men too, are sometimes taught when they are younger to avoid anger: it is not attractive to be an angry woman--you're a ***** or *****y--people won't like you if you're angry--women should be soft and gentle, not angry. You get the drift. However, anger is good. Let me repeat that:<P>ANGER IS GOOD.<P>Anger is your way of telling yourself that something is not okay with you and it needs to be taken care of. When you first notice the angry feeling, when it is still irritation or minor annoyance, you should take some kind of action to work out the situation. If you do NOT, it will grow to a good solid angry/mad/frustrated feeling (like stomping your foot or pounding a table). At this point, it is still manageable, but you need to act. If you do NOT, it will grow to a fairly serious RAGE, which is what is often the case when men look at an angry woman and say, "You have lost your mind" because in a way, you do lose your mind. Okay, you're not crazy, but you are losing options as to reasonable ways to take care of the situation, and you are starting to be hurt and upset beyond the scope of the original anger. Finally, if you still do nothing, it will grow into an EXPLOSION where you scream and yell and call names and pull every dirty trick you know and even hit and kick and destroy property (like throwing something at him, or like I did, slapping him).<P>Remember, Rejected, ANGER IS GOOD. This is nature's way of telling you that you need to do something. If you can do something while you are still mildly irritated, there will be many options which you can take which will remedy the problem. If you wait until you are solidly mad, there will be fewer options, but it could probably still be fixed. If you wait until you are in a rage, there are not too many options available, and the likelihood of reasonable resolution are quickly decreasing. If you wait until an explosion, you may be spending the night in jail--and if you are not, you will pay for it for as long as he remembers. <P>Thus, (a long-winded answer, huh?) I would say that your anger is good. You are telling yourself that it is not acceptable to be treated like a leftover. Your H may be pining for the OW, but she won't have him back; meanwhile, you want him back and he's treating you like a doormat. Your anger is telling you, "I WILL NOT BE TREATED LIKE HIS DOORMAT!!!"<P>So, now you need to do something about it. You probably need to tell him exactly that, but talking to him is hard and painful, so you've been avoiding it. Trust me, take my advise and talk to him before it turns into solid anger (and you throw out some mean words to him) or rage (and you call names and scream) or an explosion (and you slap him).<P>I'm right there with you. {{{{{Rejected}}}}}<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.