Hi everyone,<P>Tonight I have given up on trying to save my marriage. I have been trying to pull my wife out of withdrawal but I have made no progress. She is done and now I am done. <P>Just the messey details of division of assets left now. Any advice in this area would be nice. <P>My wife is the type (selfish) person that thinks I should just walk away and start over. Every dime will be an issue with her. Shes not happy unless shes winning. We have no children together. She makes more than three times what I do. My lawyer says go for support. I dont know if my pride will allow me to do that. I am currently laid off (yes when it rains....) Any thoughts?<P>Randy<P>PS most of my posts are on EN board under The Story of US

Randy,<P>sorry to hear of your marriage's demise. You don't have kids, that's a BIG blessing you can't personally appreciate.<P>I agree, no on the alimony, but on the division of assets, hopefully that should be substantial amount, if there is a house<BR>involved, have her buy out your equity, and split the cash assets.<P>The physical asset division key is this:<P>it is permanent, can never be renegotiated.<BR>future payments, CS, Alimony, can always be subject to review and modification.<P>Goal: go for a bigger portion of the existing assets, and no support. Strategy: Start with the negotiation of support, then switch to assets and give in support for more assets. But that negotiation is very, very tough, and tough minded (but it is fighting fire with fire, and after that firefight, neither of you will ever want to even remember each other ever again. just be warned! it could generate hatred!)<P>but that's from a guy who makes an adequate amount (and will be unemployed soon I hope!)<BR>and can always get a job when needed. I understand your male pride in the self support concept, as I was brought up to be as independent as possible, in every way.<P>Congratulations on your new start of your new life. take time to digest and internalize the lessons learned, and when you have passed the self forgiveness test, you will be able to move on.<P>tom here<BR>WIFTTy back there<P>