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Anonymous
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Anonymous
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After two months of marriage, my ex-husband become involved with supposidly "one time" only non-sexual relations. I am still not sure of the extent because of his habitual lying. After two years of trying (through 2 counselors, church marriage rebuilders 10 week course and various media advisor) I divorced him. We had agreed to have a disillusionment, but he backed out at the last minute. There are so many more details. MY QUESTION: In "Surviving An Affair" (which we both have read), in order to fulfill one of his five highest needs, we would have to have a sexual relationship again. Would you encourage this for us even though we are divorced? Thank you.
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Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937
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Member
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 6,937 |
KGP,<p>A couple questions:<p>What's your goal in this. Would you like to 'remarry' him if he shaped up?<p>If yes, the next question would be:<p>"How do you feel about filling his sexual needs?"<p>If you're negative about it, then you are breaking the Policy of Joint Agreement. You and he both must ENTHUSIASTICALLY agree to a course of action. If you're not enthusiastic about it, you will build up resentment.<p>Read about the Policy of Joint Agreement, and about how to negotiate. And then come to some sort of agreement you can both live with. If he's a habitual liar, some negotiation encouraging his honesty would probably be appropriate as well.
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