Hi everyone,<P>I havent' been avoiding you all, but I have been dealing with my shame and embarrassment about what happened.<P>However, I have dealt with it, I apologised and meant it, and it will never happen again.<P>Things were worse than the cold war betw. the US and Russia there for a while. On my part, not his. I simply could not stand to even talk to him.<P>But then I started feeling the same way that I did in the beginning of all this, almost 2 years ago. That the children have to come first. And if that means that I have to be civil and even friendly to him, so be it. I am big enough to do that. My children mean everything to me, and I want this to impact on them as little as possible.<P>I rang him, and said that I was worried sick about what effect this was having on the children. He agreed. To cut a long story short, he said he was going to find a counsellor for us to see, about co-parenting issues.<BR>Still hasn't done it, but I'm not pushing.<P>I have also come to another conclusion. Our parenting, whilst basically in agreeement, is now on two separate paths. He has his ways, and I have mine. I have to believe that he will never to anything to harm them, or hurt them, and that whatever he chooses to do with them, will be ok.<P>This is a huge step forward for me. I feel that again, I have let go of another stage of my life with him. By that, I mean that I think I was still trying to parent our children WITH him. That just isn't going to happen, and I've finally realised it. And I think I've finally accepted it.<P>I guess, just another stage, and another step forward huh???<P><BR>I have realised that as long as I provide consistency for them, am there for them, and try my best, that is all I can do.<P>I haven't gone back to my post of 3 weeks ago, when I abruptly had to go. It was my daughters first day at school, and I was late taking photos of the momentous occasion. I have dealt with who the gf is, given him no grief, asked no questions, and let him be. I have to say tho, I never did ask quesitons or 'bother' him, except when he had my girls. I haven't said a word about her, either before 'the incident', or since.<BR>You have my word on that.<P>I would like to thank you all for being there for me, it really was a very very dark time in my life. It's strange, I almost felt some of you there beside me, when I was beside myself with how to deal with all this.<P>Yet again, because of what I have learned here, I have been able to move on.<P>I will keep trying to be the best that I can be, and that includes being the best ex-wife that I can be. I did say 'trying' didn't I?????????<P>love and hugs<P>Jo<P>ps<P>I have to go, I'm going to the movies with my sister tonight. We're going to see Chocolat, with Johnny Depp. what a spunk.<BR>I'll check back in later, which by then we should be on the same time zone, civilised.!!!

Hey Jo,<P>I'm glad you are in a better place right now. These are difficult times and we are going to continue to have our good and bad days. Just try to remember that and to learn from the mistakes everyone makes.<P>I think co-parenting is very difficult. I believe the counseling sessions are a good idea. I hope you can find some common ground on how to raise the children. Obviously, there will be some differences in style, but I think the core message needs to be the same. I also believe that if you both love the children, that is really the most important thing of all.<P>Take care,<P>Jen

Hey Jo...<P>Your getting there...<P>The focus has to be on you...<BR>...and forgetting about your H.<P>My situation is so much easier...<BR>...since my W wants zero contact with me...<BR>...as it was in Plan A... and even more so now in my Plan B.<P>Yours is a tougher situation.<P>Hang tough.<P> <P>Jim