Being around awhile...<P>I've notice that those who were about to divorce...<BR>...usually step off of the forums for a short time...<BR>...but I am <B>not</B> moving off the forum!<P>My divorce (more correctly my W's divorce) is exactly one month away.<P>I've learned that you can't stop the divorce steamroller...<BR>But more importantly...<BR>...I've learned so much about myself...<BR>...from all your support and love.<P>There is still so little contact...<BR>She occasionally asks for a switch in weekend visitations... I give it to her.<BR>When I ask for a change... she just says <B>no</B>... <P>She has accepted that she will pay child support...<BR>...but I don't know what her emotions are behind the scenes...<BR>...I know nothing of what she feels...<BR>...and I guess... in Plan B... that is best!<P>I'll be OK on that day...<BR>...after all I have God, family, and all of you.<P>I'll keep you all posted...<BR>...and when I start on the annulment...<BR>...(shortly after the divorce)...<BR>...I'll keep you all informed as well.<P>I don't see the miracle that happened to <B>Please Help</B>(Frank)... coming my way...<BR>...and that's OK too!<P>I must be being led on a different life journey...<BR>...and acceptance... leads to a more peaceful(albeit difficult)... journey.<P> <P>Jim

Jim,<BR> Don't be too sure that a miracle isn't coming your way too!! I never saw it coming. Just did a lot of praying and left it in God's mighty hands. I was really shocked the first time W said the words. Felt it may happen but never really saw it coming I still get nervous that OM (and satan) will "pull her back". So, I KEEP praying!!<BR> Jim, just realize that when "the" day comes, it will be a LOT harder on HER than you. YOU have prepared for it, grown and God is with YOU. Your W on the other hand, well she just might not be able to find all that in a month and back out.. We're praying God will find a roadblock to put in her way. Either way you are a good man and God will bless you in the long run. <BR>GOOD LUCK & PRAYERS FRANK<P>------------------<BR>desperate<BR>"If yesterday didn't stop today, Why should TODAY stop tomorrow??" <BR>"Wisdom and PRAYER is why!!"

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by NSR:<BR><B>She occasionally asks for a switch in weekend visitations... I give it to her.<BR>When I ask for a change... she just says no</B>... <BR><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Have you considered opening a "Weekend Visitation Exchange Bank"? Write her that by your estimation, she has used X number of credits (and list the occasions). Say that when you see things evening up, you'll be ready to extend her more credits, but for right now, visitation is not flexible. <P>The response ought to be fun to hear. Hope you can stick to your guns.

{{{{Jim}}}}<P>p.s. I think that Sisyphus has a great idea!

Jim,<P>I wouldn't let the "uneveness" of visitation worry you. My x's solution is too let her husband watch the kids. There is no way she will ask off work.<P>I will have this problem at the end of April as I have to go out of town on a Sun till Tues. The grandparents can't do it(my mother doesn't travel and her parents have told me twice they don't want to travel anymore either.) So I am faced with having om/h watch the kids or paying someone to watch the kids while I am gone.<P>I guess that had to called this mess with the kids something, but it is anything but joint parenting. It seems like the one that runs only takes the kids when they want them and aren't willing to take any aditional time. My x only takes the kids when she came have them overnite. Never a midweek activity for a few hours.<P>I am slowly letting go of the MB site because it causes me to linger on, and I want to move on.<P>Bob

Thanks one and all...<P><B>Frank</B>...<BR>...I've followed you story throughout...<BR>...I saw ypur miracle coming...<BR>...I know from the experience of many...<BR>...there will be none for me...<BR>......and that's OK.<P><B>Sisyphus</B>...<BR>...asking will get me nowhere... in terms of "official" visting negotiations...<BR>...she has become so vindictive...<BR>...she feels she loses on any legal matter...<P>My best bet is to use the weekend I'm asking for as the sole bargaining chip.<BR>...I'll work from that.<P><B>Survivor [aka_NoTrust]</B>...<BR>...again... I'll try a variation...<BR>I <B>do</B> keep track of all vistations!<P><B>RWD</B>(Bob)...<BR>Equality isn't an issue...<BR>...having the kids do the things <B>they</B> would like to do is much more important!<P> <P>Jim

Hi Jim,<P>we seem to be on the same road don't we. I didn't want mine either.<P>I wish I could be as forgiving as you. I'm trying so hard to have nothing but kindness in my heart where he is concerned... I do so well, for so long, but then blow it. I have to stop letting him bother me. I control me and my actions, not him.....<P>I say a prayer for you daily my friend. To help your w see what is happening to you all. What she is doing.<BR>For the life of me, I will never understand some of these people, my ex included.<P>Keep on being the wonderful person that you are, all will be revealed. I firmly believe that. I'm reaching through to give the biggest hug right now.<P>thinking of you, and sending you love<P>Jo

Jo...<P>Thanks so much for the hug...<P>... and hears right back at you...<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jo}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>{Love} to you too!<P> <P>Jim

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Jim}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>I wanted to pass on some encouragement to you. Everyone here knows that my H was with OW for almost a year, and I never in a million years would have thought there was even the slightest possibility of hope for reconciliation, but guess what? Here I am, living proof, that sometimes the fog clears before the legalities are final.<P>I'm not trying to offer false hope or encourage you to keep trying when it's clearly over, but what I am trying to say is that you never know. You never can be positive what is going to happen. So I would GREATLY encourage you to stay on the straight and narrow path. Let God work through you to become the husband you are intended to be, but also let God have the freedom to do His work to your wife to remind her to become the wife she can be. Don't just be her husband, but also become the MAN that you can be. You know that you are on the right path, and as long as you stay there, your wife may wander around a bit, but the one God intends for you will come to you. <P>You have been such an encouragement and inspiration to us all here for so long, and just thought I'd pass on some of that support and love. <P>We all have struggles that we need to endure, and speaking for myself, some of my struggle is easier because I have an example like you to look up to!<P> <P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.