First, thanks for reading. <p>My bf and I were engaged to be married for a year, when he decided that his needs weren't being met, and that he felt we shouldn't be together anymore. I managed to prove to him that I did love him, and that I could meet his needs while we were apart. Less than 2 months later, we reconciled. <p>Things have been really rough. We argue about every other day. It's always the same issues. He does something that makes me feel like he doesn't love me - like not asking me how I feel, or neglecting me, or acting kind of weird, like he's not all there. Then I suggest that we break up. He gets really angry when I keep suggesting it. I suggest it because I think he wants to, but he's afraid of it. I'm also not trusting him like I should - since he left me before, and I had no clue there were any problems.<p>My friends tell me that he should be discussing his problems with me - but he doesn't. He just seems to bottle it all up. I want to get him to trust me enough to tell me how he feels.<p>I feel like I'm alone in this relationship. I post onto sites like this, I talk to friends, and I read books about our relationship. I keep finding that a lot of women feel the same way - that they need a lot of love and reassurance, especially if their man has hurt them in the past. I know my feelings are not unfounded.<p>But I can't seem to get him to see that. He says he had reasons for leaving. I give him that. I try to make him see that I don't blame him for leaving. But it still hurts me. Probably more subconsciously than anything. However...<p>I don't know what to do. Lately, he's been telling me that he can't handle all the arguments - that he's not happy, etc. I feel even more afraid then, and I demand him to tell me how he feels. But then he bottles up because he feels pressured.<p>The other night, I told him about what I needed - for him to be more sensitive and loving, etc. and then we wouldn't argue. He of course, took this as blame, and was angry. <br>Afterwards though, he said he would try. <p>But the thing I was wondering was: how do I get him to stop feeling so distant. He even told me the other night that it's been months since he's felt close to me. He tells me every day that he loves me, and when we have moments where we feel close, he tells me, "God, I love you sooooo much."<p>I love him, but I keep having these ideas that maybe we should breakup. I'm thinking that if he could date other women, he might come to see the value in me, and he might come back and treat me better.<p>I don't want to feel alone in this relationship anymore.<p>Please help...

If you're thinking about breaking up now, before the marriage, by all means call off the wedding. I always looked at this time in a relationship as the easiest since you're infatuated with each other and it seems like no one can do wrong. <br>It sounds like you're off to a rocky start and the rational part of me wants to say to break it off. The romantic side wants to see you work through your difficulties and end up witha great relationship. Doesn't sound like you have the foundation in place yet.<br>Say you want to postpone the marriage indefinitely. After awhile, he'll probably want to break up. I think the reason he gets pissed when you talk about breaking up now is that he wants to be in control of the relationship, particularly the breaking up.<br>Guys really have fragile egos and when a woman terminates a relationship its devastating to their self esteem. I know I was and that was nearly twenty years ago.

If you think you love him and he loves you,try some premarriage couselling,there are alot of churches and ministers that will not mary any couple without some pre marriage counselling,I sure wish I had that before I got married it might have helped,although it is pretty silly to look back after 20 years of marriage already.