Tried to find the old thread where some of us debated being addicted to this site, and others decided to say good bye, and couldn't.<p>So it's my turn... here I am sitting in "the" house which used to be "our" home, but there is no more "us" for "him". There will always be an "us" for me... but it has all changed now.<p>For all of you who are still waiting for the wayward spouse, I wish you the patience and courage for each new day.<p>For those of you in conflict, the wisdom of the white flag when needed, and the power of the loving dove.<p>And for those of us who have lost our marital battles - well they are just that - we have new lives to live now - and we have the inner strengths we need to go on. It is just a matter of finding them and building new meanings of love on them.<p>Thanks all... and remember what you have learnt here... I certainly will.<p>Hugs, Janet.<br>

Janet, you don't have to go, you know... we are always here for you, just because your H isn't doesn't mean you can't come to us.<p>I'm sorry it has come to this for you. I have to face that it may happen that way for me, too, I think many of us do. I wish it had turned out better for you...<p>Don't forget that Dr. Harley advocates keeping the "lines of communication" available for up to 2 years even after divorce. I know you don't want to sit around and wait for him - that's not what I mean - just that some people take longer to realize how stupid they've been than others ...<p>terri

Thanks for your kind words Terri - <p>I guess I have to make my own road right now, and visiting here keeps me tied into the pain and hurt, and hopelessness... but I have to build new hopes for myself.<p>I can not even imagine letting enyone lese into my life at this point. I have decided to take the "high road" and use this experience to learn about myself, rather than to blame and hurt the other. So yes - he will still know where my heart is if he wants to return, but it will have to be in a "new" relationship.<p>I hope things improve for you Terri - I have read most of your posts, and understand the longing and loneliness...<p>Janet