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My sister-in-law went to see a lawyer about divorcing her husband and was told she would not receive any support since she has only been married for 3 years. This doesn't sound right to me. <P>They have an 18 month old baby for whom he would have to pay child support. My sil can't afford to live on her own- even if they sell their house.<P>The lawyer says she's got to married 10yrs before getting support.<P>The reason she wants to divorce him is due to past and probable current infidelities, lack of emotional support, etc. (Goes out to strip clubs every weekend, goes away for weekends with "friends", etc.)<P>Anybody have any experience here? My SIL is just moving toward just living with this behavior since she feels she has no way out.<BR>
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I am from NJ and it is one of those states that makes divorce difficult. Support in NJ is hard to get. The courts consider a long term marriage 10 years and over. I was married 16 years and don't get it. The courts take a look at your education, your age, and your potential income potential. They don't care if you have five kids under the age of 3...if you are not ready to retire and you have skills...no support. The state of NJ has centers in every county that helps women going through divorce/separation/or widowhood. These centers are funded through the Divison on Women through the Department of Community Affairs. They are a valuable source of information on divorce...your rights, and how to get back on your feet again. If you let me know the county...I'll get a phone number for you.<P>Good luck.<P>
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Lonelysoul,<P>Thanks for the quick response. My SIL lives in Passaic county. I never knew div. laws in NJ were so tough. I live there too, but luckily I am at the recovery boards for now. <P>My SIL has HS degree, FT job (not great income) and has her Mom babysit since she can't afford childcare. Her husband has had many jobs over the past years and can't seem to stick with one. <P>If she proves adultery does that help her in support?<BR>
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The fact that your sil is working full time throws her chances for support right out the window. The court also looks at the income on her spouse and if he is inbetween jobs...child support is based on guidelines according to both parents income. In NJ it is possible for her husband to get support if she is making more money than him. <P>Adultery doesn't mean a thing. The only thing filing a divorce on the the grounds for adultery mean is that you are granted a divorce right away...you don't have to wait a year or two like most divorces take in NJ. <P>The number for Women in Transition of Passaic County is 973-694-9215. Hope this helps...if I can answer any more questions, just let me know.<P>
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Thanks for the advice. I'll pass it along.
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I'm from NJ...<BR>...and I have to agree with <B>Lonelysoul</B>.<P>Spousal support... if she is working... will be hard to get.<P>And the affair/infidelity means absoultely nothing!... ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/frown.gif) <BR>...and if the H wants to... he can still drag it out... by just not showing up for court dates...<P>In my case the child support is mostly based on my W's income (almost nothing on mine)... since she is the non-custodial parent(NCP)...<P>I'll pray for her...<BR>...the court system is not very good...<BR>...and that's probably true for all states... not just NJ.<P> ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif) <P>Jim
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It sounds to me like there would be about zero chance of alimony in that situation, and if there was, it might be her paying him, since she is the one with the steady earning record.<P>Mike<P>
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In NJ, they have what they call rehabilatative allimony. You can get that if you have been out of the workforce for a very long time and you don't have any marketable skills. So, the court grants you support for say, two years to get training, and then it ends. If you have a job already...forget it...you can't get anything. Of course, if you were married 25 years...you are entitled...if the divorcing spouse is agreeable. Even if you only work p/t and have a bunch of kids...if you have skills and a college degree...you get nothing.<BR>[
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It sounds like spousal support has been done away with in most states or if given it is for a limited time.<P>It sounds like each state has different formula for figuring child support.<P>My x's child support is based on what % she contributed to the family. She worked part time and thus contributed 30% to our joint income. They read that off a column for 2 kids and it comes out to $400/mo less handling fees. <P>Why do I get hit with handling fees? X is the one that caused the divorce and required child support payments to be made!
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RWD:<P>Who is the custodial parent? I don't know what handling fees are...NJ doesn't have those; at least not yet. Usually who ever the kids don't live with full time has to pay the childsupport. In NJ they deduct the amount by how much time each child spends with the other parent. So, if the kids go spend every other weekend with their dad or mom, it is less in total childsupport than if the kids didn't have any over nights. <P>If your H or W makes a ton of money, then the custodial parent makes out great. If the income is average, no one makes out..including the kids.<P>
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