Well, where do I start.<P>It's his birthday today.<P>About a week ago, I mentioned that if he wanted to he could take the children out for dinner for his birthday, he could. (it's a school night, so a big concession!!) I assumed he wouldn't want to be here, or would have other plans with gf. Anyway, he said he didn't have any plans. WHAT!!!<P>A day or two later I then left a message on his machine saying that if he wanted he could have dinner here. Would he let me know what he wanted to do.<P>He has finally bought me the bbq he owes me, and has come up with this idea.<BR>He will come over this afternoon, put the bbq together, and then I'll do a 'gourmet'!!! barbecue for us all, for his b'day........ He will have to leave about 7.30 because then he is having drinks with friends.<P>He was going to put the bbq up last Sunday, while I was at work as a surprise for me. I did a swap that day, so I didn't have to work. He was really angry, tried to fight with me on the ph. and then said that he hasn't been getting much sleep lately. You all would have been so proud of me. No harshness back, no fighting back, just calm and cool.<P>Anway, where does that leave me today??. I'm glad the girls will get to see their Daddy on his b'day. Birthdays are such a big deal to them. Even tho' he did NOTHING for mine, I'm looking forward to this. I don't know why. Maybe because it's a chance to show him that I'm not a screaming banshee all the time!!!!!!!!!!!!<P>Have to go and get girlies ready for school.. will check back later.<P>have a nice night everyone<P>Jo

You have no idea what to expect, so be ready for <I>anything</I> ... God forbid he gets it in his head he can bring the <I>OW</I> because he bought you a barbecue grill!<P>But that <I>would</I> be the thinking of a male in the fog. Just don't read this and get angry all over again at him for something that hasn't yet happened and may never happen. I'm just giving you the worst case scenario so that you can roll all the possibilities short of that around in your mind and <I>banshee-proof</I> your potential reactions. <P>You do react to things, don't you? <P>So make up your mind that whatever he does, it's gonna roll off you like water off a duck's back. Decide that he doesn't have the power to make you act up, and doesn't have the power to get you down. <I>Acceptance</I> of <I>who he is</I>, regardless of whether you feel he has approached the standard of behavior one would expect from ... say, our immediately past president.

Woah! This is a strange thing. Well, good luck. Hope all goes well and that the girls have a good time - even the grown up one. The little ones will behave as little ones do. <P>And, to borrow a line from 'Star Wars', "May the force be with you."<P>You can do this and do it well. Give him a chance to eat crow.<P>You Go, Girl!!

Hope it turns out to be a nice day. Don't over analyze and go with the flow!!<P>As a side note. My H is from Oz. His father lives in Brisbane. The rest of the clan is from Melbourne. You mentioned in the post regarding VA Summer Getaway that you had a friend in Nebraska that you would like to visit and I was born and raised in Nebraska!! Thought the connects were fun to discover. <P>By the by if you are intersted I started posting on the Emotional Needs forum as I felt that D/D was putting the cart before the horse. Hope I stay there, wish me luck.

Hi Sisyphus,<P>you made me smile. I do have a 'tendancy' to react sometimes don't I. LOL!!!!<P>You have my solemn vow and promise that I will be on my best behaviour tonight!!!!!<P>This is the menu.<P>oysters au natural<BR>marinated king prawns<BR>swordfish steaks with coriander pesto<BR>salad<BR>birthday cake (the girls picked it from the supermarket - it's pink and vile!!!)<P>I tried to do things that can be prepared in advance, and cooked (on my new bbq!!) very quickly. I'm anticipating that he will not want to stay too long.<P>I don't understand myself. I have had a light step all day, even found myself singing to Shania Twain about being a woman or something in the shopping centre!! Got a few looks I can tell you!!<P>I'm telling myself that he's doing this because he wants to spend time with the children for his birthday. That's a perfectly normal thing for him to want isn't it??<BR>However, I did offer that he could take the children out for dinner which I would assume gf would be attending!!!<P>Thanks for being there, yet again, big hugs<P><BR>Cinderella - you're right, it is a bit strange isn't it. In light of what I have just said to Sisyphus.<BR>Oh well, I willlllll be on my best behaviour, and I will take comfort in the knowledge that he will be gone by about 7.30 to have drinks with his friends. At least my stress levels can come down then.<P>I've got some nice white wine chilling, and some champagne. I might invite a gf over after he has gone to help settle the nerves. Nah, I'll just get on here and talk to you all.<P>Please say a prayer for me. Not for anything to happen, but just for a nice night. that's all I'm hoping for.<P>love and hugs to you.<P>I have to go now, pick up d's, put the contact lenses in, etc etc etc.<P>I'll get back on as soon as he's gone and give an update.<P>Jo<P>

Hi Hopeless...<P>we must have been posting at the same time. What an amazing no. of coincidences. I loved my 11 years in Melbourne, it's a great place. Did you ever visit.?<P>Are you going to try and get to the getaway? I'm going to try my hardest, and then some.<P>I'll check on EN later tonight for you.<BR>Have a nice night, or at least a better one.<P>hugs<P>Jo

Yes, I did spend time in Melbourne. We lived there for 14 months after we were married. I wanted to get to know his family and a bit about where he came from as we were to ultimatly settle in the States. I did enjoy Melbourne a great deal. We were also back last year for the big 2000 celebration. H and I spent some time travelling Kakadu, Uluru and best of all Orpheus Island!! <P>Thought about VA this summer. Depends on were he takes us I suppose (relationship wise) If he is out I may definatly give the idea a whirl!

Hey AzAll....<P>Where did you live in Melb? We lived in Romsey, which is the bottom of Mt Macedon. Or Middle Park, St Kilda and Essendon. (the<BR>the football teams.........<BR>which is surprising considering we both went for Carlton, (even before I knew him). He used to play for Carlton under 19's.<P>I hope to God you didn't barrack for Collingwood. Aaaaaarrrrrrrrgggh, we'd have to be mortal enemies!!!!!!!!!!<P>Have a nice night<P>Jo