Hi,<P>We've gotten temporary orders. We're in Texas: joint custody, me as the primary, husband has taken the liberal option with overnight visitations - roughly 6 pm on pickup days until morning of the return day (he drops her off at daycare). Our daughter is only 3.<P>We're both very active people. Our interests are common; we used to do everything together. <P>Now he won't hardly talk to me.<P>I'm having a really hard time with all of this. I really love this man. I know he's mistreated me. I know that with my depression, I mistreated him. But the depression is under treatment now --- and he won't give our marriage another try.<P>I want him to be happy.<BR>But I am having a lot of trouble accepting that our marriage could be ending. It goes against all that I believe.<P>And then we start talking about visitations --- how family gatherings will be handled, spring break, etc. I'm having problems with this. <P>She's not a thing to be passed back and forth. She's a little girl. She doesn't understand why all this is happening. She doesn't like it. She wants her Mommy and Daddy to get back together. And I want the same thing.<P>She's very smart for a 3 year old. Very intuitive. <P>I'm actually having a hard time dealing with the fact that her father wants her, but doesn't want anything to do with me. He's even got visitations set up so that he never has to come to the house and he never has to see me.<P>I haven't cried this much in a long long time. <P>I just want this whole thing to go away....far far away.<P>Good thing I've got an appt. with my therapist for tomorrow. <P>I'm actually wishing that one of us were dead or moving to the other side of the planet rather than divorcing. Either way, I think there'd be the hope of some sort of closure. some sort of finality to this.<P>As it is, I've got this weekly reminder that I've been rejected by someone I love.<P>~Amy

Amy:<P>My heart goes out to you. I am going though a terrible time right now with my 3 year old. I hate this.<P>I just posted about my situation as well.<P>Jen

Woops - Double post<p>[This message has been edited by 711 (edited February 27, 2001).]

My kids are struggling too..my son more so than my daughters..<P>He has liberal visitiation but only chooses to get them 1 night a weekend..if he gets them once during the week..he won't get them<BR>over the weekend..so sad..and yet..he "says"<BR>he wants to be here for them all the time..go figure..

Rose --- I've heard that it's harder on boys than girls.<P>Well, I've actually got a bit of good news. Yesterday was the second day that our daughter made it all the way through the day without an accident. Potty-training --- you just don't understand what an accomplishment this is unless you've been through it.<P>As for the crying and crying that I'd been doing......that I notice was heading towards some very negative thoughts: I did call my Dr. about it and she called me back last night.<P>Apparently, for some still unknown reason, anti-depressant drugs don't work as effectively during PMS. So she's going to have me boost my dosage slightly during PMS. Too bad my husband isn't around to let me know when the PMS starts. :-)<P>My stbx sees our daughter once during the week, and then every-other weekend (Fri. till Mon. morning). The weekend is what is rough for me, especially Sun. night.<P>I also made a point of checking out some books from the library here where I work --- co-parenting, joint custody workbook, etc. Then I also got books about women's issues with divorce, and why not to divorce.<P>I can look at the why not to divorce book and see myself and my husband in there with no problem. I'm also seeing all the arguments that I've been making to my husband and that he's been denying.....saying that I'm wrong.<P>I've sent the book in our daughter's overnight bag along with his mail. I'm hoping he'll take a look at it.<P>I don't want this divorce.<P>~Amy