Hi All:<P>This seems like the right place to post this. I've been doing alot of internet dating the last few months. I'm finding it very easy to get dates, very easy to get repeat dates, but very hard to find someone that I feel I could build a future with. Anyone have any thoughts on how to make this medium more successful?<P>Today I spoke on the phone with someone I had been e-mailing for about two weeks. Turns out he still lives at home with his wife, although they're supposedly "separated". I told him that I wouldn't consider meeting him until he had a divorce in process and was out of the house. I will NEVER be an OW. The last guy I met described himself as "15 pounds overweight". When I met him at the restaurant, I'd say he was easily 250 pounds at 5 foot 9. I'd call that 75 pounds overweight. Is there a quicker way to get at honesty?<P>What other approaches have you used to meet dates? I'm finding that almost all the activity is coming from the internet. No one seems to have anyone to fix me up with and the neighborhood is 100% families. Just curious.<P>I am having fun with this though. Even though it make take eons to find Mr. Right, I'm going to lots of dinners and movies and having fun meeting people. Anyone care to share other thoughts about how to meet people once you finally decide to do it?

Distressed,<P>Internet dating is something I've never considered, and I am seventy pounds overweight. I like the anonimity of this site because it allows me to be honest to a fault. And it gets some pretty honest reactions from the other members. The spectrum of viewpoints expressed is a treasured asset, not a threat. The exchange of feelings is a sharing experience, and frankly sometimes far too intimate to facilitate a romantic date. There are times when we are all pretty vulnerable, often that is revealed here.<P>While these sites are a pretty friendly place, there are an awful lot of parasites and predators out there who like it for just the opposite reason. Far too often we get reports of women who have been taken for their life savings. And far too often, we find the remains of women stuffed in a garbage bag in an alley or abandoned house.<P>For myself, I have three rules. I don't date at work, I don't look for dates in bars, and I don't date on the internet. I'm at an age where I'm active in my church, civic, social, and support groups where at least a little bit of everyone's reputation is known. I have noticed that there are more opportunities when I take the initiative and I get out and meet people. You may find this hard to believe, but not too many women are breaking down my front door to meet me. <P>Please be careful, and look out for yourself.<P>Bumper

There are a lot of sites out there, and some are better than others. The best one that I've found is <A HREF="http://www.udate.com." TARGET=_blank>http://www.udate.com.</A> It did the job others didn't.

Ok... I met a new friend from another internet group. We got along really well, and then found out we only live about 60 miles appart.<P>Yeah, we decided to meet and have a "date".... we went to dinner and ended up talking for hours. Even though there was not a romantic connection after meeting (well, kind of, but we arn't taking it anywhere)..... I have a terriffic new friend who I really get along with. I have also met some really great female friends this way too.<P>Would I meet someone like that agian... probably so. At least when you meet someone from an online group, you know you have at least something in common. (and after all, how many weirdos hang out in crafts or recipe rooms for months?)<P>Would I sign up for an internet dating service.... well, I did (I was lonely one night and said to myself... "What the heck")... The incredable number of weirdos I got responses from just about knocked me over! I had guys sending me pictures of things ....and some of the offers I got.... well, you get the picture! <P>If/when I do meet someone I know only from the net.... I always make sure I meet them in a VERY PUBLIC PLACE! Yes, this applies to the female friends I've met too.<P>I guess the main thing is to be CAREFUL.... but that applies to all dates.... you all remember my story about porno boy . LOL LOL

This site was recommended to me, and I must admit I was impressed after browsing the site. <P>They do very thorough testing of each person in order to match people very well, and it's a Christian based site, I believe. <P> <A HREF="http://www.eharmony.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.eharmony.com</A> <p>[This message has been edited by computergal (edited March 05, 2001).]

Hi -<P>I'm pretty new here although I have been browsing around for a bit and really really find the topics and individuals both caring and genuine. So, upon seeing this topic, I felt the urge to jot an opinion. <P>Bumperii, you are right about needing to be careful. But that is advice that needs to be stated in regards to any *dating* these days. The internet allows you alot more freedom and annoymity (look at this site for one), and if you find the correct *dating* site, alot more choices and opportunity to get to *know* someone. Most sites allow you to *browse* and check it out first. Find out as much information as you can about a site, then jump in if you like what you find. Meanwhile, you can filter out the *untouchables*, most ID sites have a block feature. <P>There are risks involved in any venture. How you approach the sites, how you approach potential *dates* etc.... is the key. Personally, I found ID much more compatible to my lifestyle and feeling of security, not comfortable with *bar scenes* and really not enjoying the *set-ups* that friends so eagerly pushed upon me. <P>How do I speak so strongly on this subject? Let me just say it's the tale we'll tell our grandchildren someday! <P>Good Luck!<BR>G<P>------------------<BR>The only way out is to go through<BR>- Robert Frost