At what age did you let your kid(s) stay home a lone? Situation: New home/neighborhood and 8 1/2 yr. old daughter attends before school daycare at the school now. Hates it. She is use to small home daycares and for now there is nothing available for her in our area. I'm not impressed either with the one she's currently enrolled in. After school her 13 yr. old brother is home with her for 15 minutes until I arrive. She wants to stay home for 1 1/2 hr. alone in the mornings until she catches her bus to school. Bus stop is 3 doors down. She has been home alone before but only for about 20-30 minutes. I have a cell phone so I can be reached at all times but still......Thoughts? I think she'd be responsible because she knows if she wasn't she'd have to go back to her current daycare situation. If I decide to vote "no" to this she could just suck it up since it's only 2 hrs. each morning before school. On non-school days she travels with hubby to her old daycare that she likes. Thoughts?????

8 1/2 is TOO YOUNG to stay alone!<P>legally, 12 or 13 is the age generally stipulated by local governments on the age which a child can stay by him/herself. <P>IMO, she needs to learn to make the best of not a great situation, and learn to deal with situations, not avoid them. She needs to learn coping skills at this age, independence skills come with the teenage years.<P>just my opinion,<P>tom<BR>

It's a legal question, and a question of maturity and responsibility. <P>I have one kid who I wouldn't leave alone for more than three hours (daylight) and he's a teenager. I have one kid who "could" have been left alone at 8 because she was very, very responsible - but I wouldn't because it's not legal and can get you in BIG trouble.<P>So, to answer your particular situation: Don't leave your daughter alone quite yet. She's too young.<P>------------------<BR>I just want to sit in the garden in peace~~<P>*Statue*

Ya know, sometimes just putting my thoughts out in front of me helps me decide as to what I'll do. I've decided to meet my daughter in the middle. She can handle the 2 hrs. before school in her current daycare and on days that she has no school I'll have hubby drive her to her old daycare that she really enjoys. There.....I feel so much better now that a decision has been made. Thanks guys.

Is there absolutely no third choice? I agree that she is too young to stay home alone, but two hours before school is an awfully long time to spend in a daycare you hate. I would imagine that by the time school started she would be miserable, and in no frame of mind to concentrate on school. Is there any way one of you could adjust your work hours? Is there nobody who could take care of her before school, even informally? <P>I spent years as a child in after school daycare that I detested four days a week. On Fridays, an elderly woman whom I loved (and who came to my wedding, btw) came to take care of me. I never asked my parents if she could come every day instead, because I thought it cost too much. When I mentioned it to my mother as an adult, she said that she would have been glad to pay a little extra if she had known how important it was to me! At least your daughter is telling you how she feels. <P>Have you talked to her about why she is so unhappy there? Have you talked to the teachers? Is she being bullied? I think it is important to listen to your daughter. Children should not have to cope with misery if their parents can make it better.

I know how you feel, my s was 8 and my d was 11 when their mother left. I was heart sick when I had to leave for work the first time.<P>I occasionally have to leave my s, now 10 alone for about and hr in the morning. But he is far more responsible than my d , 13 yo. He shuts off all the lights and closes the garage door. My d leaves all the lights on and the garage door open. I half expect to find everything from the house missing after d leaves.<P>It sounds like you have found a solution. I was wondering if there weren't friends of hers she could stay at in the morning.

Thanks for the extra comments. First off, I am working on changing it. We just moved in last week so I don't know any neighbors yet. Hoping I'll meet them when it warms up a bit. I posted an ad in the paper for a SAHM or small daycare. My work helps to find daycares and I got 13 numbers from work. All are full. The area we moved into is new and growing at such a rapid rate that it's hard for daycare homes to keep up. My daughter is not shy and very well liked. She had a lot of friends at her new school and now she's starting over. BUT, she has always went to a small home daycare that was run by an older woman that she called Grandma. Show up in the morning, relax while watching tv and having some breakfast. The center is just so different and that is what she doesn't like. Oh and in regards to the last comment...hehe...My kids are same way only my daugher is the more responsible one. My son is 13 and he leaves with lights on, doors open etc...

Hi Bonnie,<P>I think you came up with a good solution. I think 8 1/2 is young. My daughter, oldest is 10, and her middle sister is 8. I am looking into going back to work, and I won't leave them for an hour, before or after. I just don't feel comfortable with it yet. In a few more years, my oldest will be 12 and then the others are going to be 10 and 5 and my life will get a little easier in one aspect, but then its teenagers! Yuk! Good luck! Hugs, Dana<BR>