When one door of happiness closes,<BR>another opens;<BR>but often we look so long at the closed door that<BR>we do not see the one which has been opened before us.<BR>-Helen Keller<P>I am having such a hard time letting go of my husband, what am I holding on to??? I have so many wonderful memories, but I do need to put those away for awhile, as it is just to painful right now. He has made the decision to get a divorce (will be final at the end of April), and go after the OW. I did all I could do in trying to save our marriage, but it takes two to make it work. <P>I sure hope that that other door of happiness opens soon!!!!<P> <BR>

It did for me - thank goodness... There can be a silver lining at the end of a marriage. I had such a hard time accepting the end, but once I did - my life started moving again and things have been happening quickly, but so much more positively then it has been in many many years. <P>If someone had told me a year ago I would be here and feel this much happiness after such a tragic loss - I would have never believed it. <P>It is hard. Take care of yourself. You are most important now. <BR>

Rejected,<P>I'm so sorry to hear your news. I know you feel very sad and like you have lost everything, but there is one small good thing. Now at least you know what is going to happen. For some folks, the limbo just drives them nuts, and good, bad, or otherwise, now you know that you are going to be divorced.<P>May I suggest that you grieve for the loss of your marriage like you would if someone had died--because in a way, an entity HAS died. Hold a funeral. Say a eulogy. Have a memorial service. Wear black. In a strange way, it will help you accept the fact that it's over, and the rituals of grieving will comfort you.<P>Love you, Petrie!<P><BR>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

Don't count on it getting better.<P>If someone had told me that I would be far more miserable, not to mention worried that we are going to end up homeless, a year ago - which was even then a year into the separation - I would not have believed it. A few months into the separation, he was blaming me for everything, saying he made a mistake marrying me, etc. I thought that was bad enough. But, at that time, he was still treating the kids as if he loved them; he was occasionally even helpful. Now, two years later, he sees little of the kids; when he does see them he threatens to leave them at home with me if they misbehave; he treats me with cruelty, he has been unemployed for almost a year, pays only the little child support that is required and doesn't seem to care much whether the kids have sufficient food or shelter. <P>I wish I had known from the beginning that two years later I would be supporting the kids mostly on my own and that he would want little contact with them. I would have done a lot of things differently.

Rejected,<BR>Sometime that door may be a little rusty and won't open by itself. It will be up to you to open that door, don't wait for it to open itself.<P>It may take some time, but you will find happiness.<P>Bob

Thank you!!!!<BR>I thank God for MB, it really is a God send.<BR>