My stbx hasn't contacted my for some time. He's moving on therefore I should be. Needless to say it hasn't been easy on me. I feel so beat up, and like I don't want to go on. I am a Christian woman, and what scares me so is that I can actually entertain the thought of (you know what I mean). Is this normal to get this low? <BR>When do you know that you need more help than what you are already getting?<P>Do I just need to find the strength and courage on my own? Please share some advise, stories, of digging out of severe depression. I am there now-and just can't face the cruel world anymore.<BR>

Have you talked to your doctor about how down you feel? You may need to consider anti-depressants for a short time to help you deal with this overwhelming adjustment. You have a lot to grieve right now...<P>Hang in there...grief is the needed emotional work to let go of someone (or a relationship), and while it hurts, it is a stage you have to go thru to get to the other side. <P>Hugs--<P>Kathi

Severe depression? The lie-in-bed-all-day-preoccupied-with-thoughts-of-death kind of depression? Okay, I've been there and done that. I don't recommend it, but I don't know if I've got good advice on how to handle it. I don't know how much of what worked for me would work for someone else.<P>I don't think anti-depressants are a bad idea, although you can't expect them to kick in immediately. I chose not to take them (although I did take St. John's Wort for several months with indeterminate results).<P>I was never worried about my occasional preoccupation with death, for several reasons. I clung to my integrity, my faith in God, the cognitive awareness that my feelings were irrational, and the remembrance that previous episodes of depression had run their course. And when I was that low, it seemed to me that killing myself would be as pointless as going on living. Further, killing myself would have taken more effort than just lying there. When every little thing I did required several minutes of summoning my willpower (focusing on my next responsibility and mentally reciting "do the next thing" over and over again), that in itself was a pretty powerful factor!<P>What finally got me past depression for good (or so I hope and believe) was finally identifying the hurts and fears I had tried to hide from myself for so long, facing them, and allowing myself to feel them.<P>It wasn't easy to identify something for which I had fashioned unconscious blinders. But when I succeeded, I found to my surprise that as painful as my feelings were, they did not destroy me.<P>Now I almost revel in the pain, because it is so much better to <I>live</I> and <I>experience</I> life than to be dead inside. Unlike some people, I do not find crying to be cathartic, but when it happens I consider it to be a good thing, because it is an evidence of my wholeness.<P>I don't know how any of this can be of any help to you, but you asked for it!

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Petrie}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<P>Yes, it is normal. I bet if you took a survey, we would all say that the thought crossed our mind--there's no sin in being tempted. Anyway, hang in there. <P>One thing that helped me out a little was living hour by hour. What I mean is that some days I just felt so hurt I couldn't imagine feeling that way for a whole day, so instead I said to myself that I would wait one hour--I could get through one hour. Then, when the next hour came along, I would give myself a little reward (like buying LOTION kleenex) and get through the next hour. <P>You can do, Petrie! You're in my thoughts and prayers,<P>CJ<P>------------------<BR>Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

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