honestly,<P>shared, 50-50, would be the best. however, the more i realize that my 12 yo son is so much like his mom, that i am making it very difficult for him. He will never be like me, although for awhile, he was doing great. but i think he will have a difficult life because of his mom. too many bad genes passed his way. too much coddling by the mom, so that he won't have a tough bone in his body, too much impatience, very wary of authority, but likes control. he will probably end up being lost after college, not knowing what to do, how to explore the world, etc.<P>in some respects, i can't make him sing either. he will turn out what he will. i just feel as a parent that you give your kids the best and most opportunities to excel and experience, and my XIL's did not do that to my X. and she is repeating the pattern, as she is very myopic, with alot of subtle psycho problems.<P>to get custody would be nearly impossible. and even if i did, i could not support him the way he needs to be supported. in other words, i can't afford a house in a neighborhood which he desperately needs. he needs kids to go out and play with, groups and to ride around with, he needs structure, and unless i married someone to be home when he gets home, i could never afford the house. let me tell you, i am working on it as we speak!<P>but even if i had it, in order for me to structure his life, he would still go to his mom's house, and get unstructured.<P>so, like nellie, i got f!@#$%^ed by not knowing enough about the future, which no one knows alot about anyway. sorry, in a bad mood this evening.<P>thanks for the question.
